First of all, I have learned that wrecking your brand new car really, really, really sucks. Thank God I wasn't seriously injured. I could have gotten really upset and freaked out and stayed in that state for weeks on end. But I am not and I will not be that kind of person any longer. Things could have ended up so much worse for me, but there is a reason that they are called accidents. There is a reason that I pay my insurance premiums. And there is a reason why I was in that place, at that time when I had my accident.
I am trying to focus on the fact that the only thing that got hurt was my car, some property and my pride. I have never been in a car accident like this before and I pray I will never be in one like it again. I could have been seriously injured or even killed, but I had some major angels around me yesterday during the accident and a human angel around me afterwards.
Secondly, I learned that you can make friends from the oddest situations. I mean, completely twilight zone kind of odd. But I feel very blessed because not only was I able to make amends, but I was able to become friends with one of the most beautiful, strong people I have ever met in my life. I hope to soak up some of this person's strength and know that I too can make it through some of my darkest times, because that is what that person did as well.
Finally, I learned that not only am I not alone, but I am surrounded by others who have been in, or are in the same or similar situations as I am. Because this is MY blog, I have the freedom to write about what I want when I want, but I also have a responsibility to readers who reach out to me to share their stories and I would never betray them. What I will say is that there are quite a few people out there who have been through what I have and that validation alone gives me hope for the future.
I am sure that not all of this makes sense and I am just recapping a lot of it for my own benefit. But if there is one thing that I hope the three people who read this take away, it is that no matter what, you can always reach out to me and I will be there for you. I hope that you are being genuine with your problems and issues because I will certainly be genuine back to you. I can't ever tell you what to do in your life, but I will say something very important right now:
IF YOU ARE EVER AFRAID FOR YOUR WELL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP - GET OUT.
NOW.
DO NOT STOP AND QUESTION OR SECOND GUESS YOURSELF. THERE IS A REASON THAT WE AS HUMANS EVOLVED INTO HIGHLY INSTINCTIVE CREATURES. LISTEN TO THE VOICE THAT IS TELLING YOU TO RUN AND TAKE THE FUCK OFF.
On a lighter note, I had a two hour guitar lesson from my dad tonight. It was awesome, but I am really confused. I can, however, play a total of three chords, so it was definitely educational.
All my love,
A
4 comments:
My beautiful friend! I am here for you and I will do all I can to help you get through this. You have answered so many questions that I had to help me close the door and leave this nightmare behind. I will help you do the same! And if someone else is in similar situation, please listen to that tiny voice in your head that tells you to RUN RUN RUN before it's too late. A, doll, go enjoy time away and when you come back, I am ready for more adventures, with NO drama :) Love!!!
I'm so glad you're ok! And yes, I have been in your situation. It's hard. Peace and strength be with you
Ha Ha...Everyone hates you!
Three chords! Shiiit - that's enough to start a band nowadays!! :)
I am soooo glad you're okay! Accidents suck, and always make us grateful. I think they key is to try and be grateful everyday. Also: thank God for angels!!
I will also reiterate your message to anyone in a relationship that makes them fear for their life: fear sucks, but it's there for a reason. GO.
Oh! And I am here for you, too, A. You're an awesome person. Make life your bitch! :)
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