Monday, February 23, 2009

I'm a Hero

So one of my favorite blogs is Dave2.  He is funny and witty and insightful and I stalk his blog all of the time.  Plus he has a Bad Monkey and draws some pretty hilarious cartoons.  So I totally ripped off his post this last Saturday to create my own Super Hero.

Behold... the awesomeness that is the ADW.  I think that is going to stand for Advanced Douchebag Whacker.  Or maybe Amazing Dildo Wielder.  Or even Astounding Dipshit Wadledoodler.  The last one was lame.  Sorry.  I am drained.

I am bad ass.  Do you see my whip?  And my angel wings?  And the skin tight outfit that totally wouldn't fit me in real life?  But in real life I would more likely have devil horns so I am taking creative license to do whatever the fuck I want.  So there.

Don't mess with me or I will beat your ass.  I will slash you with my whip and then I will pour vinegar on your wounds and then beat a cool breeze down on you with my wings which will make it burn even worse.  Then I will crush you with my thighs.  Oops.  I am confusing Super Hero with James Bond vixen.

Oh snap!  Wouldn't a program that allows you to create your own Bond character be totally great?  Holy shit.  Someone needs to get on that STAT!  Not me because you know, completely not creative.... but someone please create that application.

Now I have the urge to make my own Bond Girl.  Actually vixen.  They are always cooler than the Bond Girls.  Like Grace Jones.  What a totally kick as bitch she was in "A View to Kill."  

OK.  I really need to go get ready for a busy day. 

Peace out fuckers!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Laughter and an Update

There is something to be said for the importance of laughter.  Especially for me.  Laughter gets me through my day and I appreciate when someone else tries to make me smile.  I think I have a good sense of humor... although it is a bit infantile at times.

There are so many things in life that I could complain about, but I won't.  Instead, I am trying to focus on the good things that are going on and looking at obstacles as a chance to make changes or an opportunity that is presenting itself in a different way.  

While it isn't even in my top 100 of favorite songs, Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers" keeps going through my head these days.  Maybe some of the things that we think we want or need but don't get are really chances to do something else.  Something that can lead to more.  More happiness, more contentment, more whatever.  And I keep thinking to myself that things could always be worse.  I have wonderful children, a supportive circle of friends and family who care about me, a great career that I enjoy more and more all of the time these days.  So when I think about the trials and tribulations and the turmoil that has occurred in the past, I have to believe that all of those things came about to bring me to a better place.  I don't know where that place is yet, but I have this renewed sense of optimism that it is there just waiting for me to find it.

Whether that place is where I am at right now remains to be seen.  As you know, things have been tough, especially emotionally, for a while now.  Normally I am not a patient person.  OK, I am never patient, but with my new attitude, I feel like if I just wait a while that this good thing I believe is out there will happen.  Maybe I am not in the place where I was meant to be, maybe I am.  I don't know the answers to that yet.  But I do know that there is a spot in the universe where I can be happy and fulfilled.  

I just came home from traveling all week and I am really tired.  But this weekend, I get to guest bartend at a benefit for the Tay-Sachs foundation.  This is a chance for me to do some good.  I love Dakota and her entire family and her story has been an inspiration to so many people.  And it's going to be a blast.  I am in my element when I can be sassy and provocative and there is not better stage that I can think of than slinging drinks to people for a few hours.  So I get to help raise money for a wonderful cause and have fun at the same time which a desperately need right now.

As usual, I am rambling and there is no structure or meaning in this post, but there is a point.  Sort of.  As my life unfolds further, I can't help but feel that there are good things waiting right around the corner.  Or maybe a few blocks over.  But I want to put the effort into finding out what those things are.  I am sick and tired of being unhappy and bitching and moaning about that state.  I want to be proactive in my own life for once instead of taking whatever the universe hands me and then crabbing about it.  The only person I can blame for my unhappiness is myself because I am allowing myself to be unhappy.

So there.