Friday, June 6, 2008

Paging Doctor Whackadoo

I have started seeing a therapist.  

I like her.

She is a pretty straightforward person and the only truly irritating thing that she had me do was use an "emotions" chart.  I asked her if they were like emoticons... What?  Oh and there is no computer in her office.  Freaky.  Of course, skipping back to the first sentence, I came up with emotions that weren't on her chart.  Like pissed off and combative and highly illusionary... apparently it needs updated for adults with large vocabularies.

She is not really sure what to do with me.  Most people aren't.  Especially since I jump around from subject to subject.  Although I did spend an entire hour bitching about my in-laws.  To a complete stranger.  Without being drunk.  It felt really fucking good.

And so I was finally asked to narrow my focus on what I wanted to work on the most in my life right now....  I picked my children.  And not my husband.  Sorry, but the kids are only little for so long and my biggest fear in life is that they will end up despising me like I do my Incubator.  I had to create a behavioral chart with rewards and stuff for them.  And you know what?  It's working.  They earn points for good behavior and lose them for bad and they need a certain amount of points to do activities that they like.  My little one is really good with it, the older one will probably need a learning curve.

Next post - attending your daughter's Junior High School Orien-fucking-tation.  While deciding on the easiest way to sneak out of a crowded gymnasium.

Peace out bitches.

ADW

10 comments:

lspoon said...

Good for you! I hope it truly helps you :) Keep us posted on the little one's progress. I love charts and stickers and rewards.

metalmom said...

HS orientation huh? How to get out of it? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I've done it three times already. It's a necessary evil. I'm just laughing because I'll never have to do it again!!!

Miss Britt said...

You are not old enough to have a kid in Junior High.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

OK, I spit out my coffee when I read the "emoticons" comment. Well played.

nudeman40 said...

I must agree with Britt. You don't look old enough for a kid in Jr High. You must have been 12 when you had her... As for Dr. Whack tyell her about sex stuff. They love that. I had a lady years ago and that is all she wanted to hear... I think she needed a shrink.. lol

Avitable said...

I'm glad seeing somebody is helping a bit! I can't imagine how your kids could ever despise you - you're pretty fucking awesome.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Create a diversion. Then slip away in the confusion.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Can I go with you to your next session? People have been telling me for years that I should seek therapy...

Effortlessly Average said...

I saw a shrink once, but after several sessions I kept wondering if I realy liked his quiet, overly-calm demeanor. Then I realized I was seeing the dog whisperer. On the good news side, I don't chace cars anymore.

Marianne said...

Been there done that, on the junior high school orien-fucking-tation thing.

Also been there done that on the trying to find the easiest way out of there in front of all those people.

When I made my escape, I sat in my car and cried like a little girl.

I'm so ashamed.