Monday, October 6, 2008

Playing Cards

My life isn't all about being crazy, beating ass and ruling the world.  I also like to hang out with friends and play cards.

So this weekend, some friends were over and we were sitting around my table playing cards.  My one buddy decided that this was the right time to bring up blow jobs.  Or the lack of desire of American women to partake in making beautiful music with the skin flute.

Here is how the conversation went:

Him: "Did you guys know that only 17% of American women say that they enjoy giving blow jobs?"...in a very puzzled voice.

Husband:".....ruh?"

Me and Girlfriend: "D-U-H"....gagging noises

Him: "But 90% of Austrian women say that they like doing it."  Looks at my husband and smirks.

Me:  "No fucking shit.  Have you seen those bitches that live up in those Alps?  They have to contribute something.  No fucking kidding that they're willing to suck dick.  How else are they supposed to keep the inside of their cheeks warm?"



Now, on to the Costco item of the month.  I don't know if you guys have ever stepped foot in the concrete wonder emporium that is the greatest bulk retailer of the world, but it is an addiction of a level known only to crack addicts and Whitney Houston.  

This weekend I found my new favorite snack item:

Boulder Canyon Natural Foods - Rice and Adzuki Bean Snack Chips - Chipotle Cheese Flavor

Holy mother of Uranus are these things really freaking good and they aren't even made out of fried potatoes.  If you have a chance to try them, do so.  Supposedly they are only available at the Big C, but maybe you can get them online.

One warning - they do tend to make you shit rabbit turds.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

10 comments:

Avitable said...

You're anti-oral sex? Crazy woman. It tastes like magic and rainbows! Allegedly.

sybil law said...

I kinda like blow jobs, but not near as much as I did when I was in my 20's. I think I sucked too much back then. Haha

metalmom said...

When I am tired enough, I will willingly give a blow job just so I can roll over and play dead for a change.

Island Girl said...

nothing does it for him like a blow job.... and when he's been very very good... i love givn' it to him... !!!

Slick said...

I'll admit...my wife is more on the generous side! :)

Poppy said...

I love giving blow jobs. *shrug*

bzbubba said...

dude you are such a freakn trip!!!! Did i tell you i got a membershipt to the Big C this past Sunday....mainly to get the fn pita chips...f yeah baby! They have 100 calorie ones too....which don't mean shit when you eat 5 bags at once! As soon as i paid for my shit i thought....oh f...it just might have not been a good idea after all.....it is "Beautiful, beautiful like a brand new home".
BZ

bzbubba said...

oh n yes....those chips burn your fn ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bzbubba said...

coming out in your shit that is.....prevert!

Memphis Steve said...

Oh I shit rabbit turds all the time. The little fuckers multiply and hop all over the place while I'm trying to catch them and stuff them back into the toilet.

I can't believe you're anti-blowjob. That's .. that's .. UNAMERICAN!