Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Other "F" Word

If anyone out there still reads this blog, then you know that I am not shy when it comes to the spewing forth of swear words. I bandy them about like condoms in a sex-ed class. In fact, I have even taught you all how to swear in multiple foreign languages and I have created some words that people still use on a daily basis.

That being said, there is something that I have never, ever done. Neither on this blog or in real life. What's that you ask? I know, it seems almost impossible, or at least highly improbably, that there is anything that I would think crosses the line, but even I have my limits and one of those limits is the use of slurs. I think that if you don't like someone, there are better ways of letting your dislike known. For example, I once called my neighbor a cum-guzzling twatmonger and I still stand by those words. Adam and I have insulted each other numerous times over the years and we LIKE one another. But I choose to be more creative with my insults. Instead of disparaging someone's race or creed or sexual orientation, I like to be a little more inventive and a lot less trite and tired with my insults.

Most of the time, when I do this, I mean no harm. There are others out there who do though and it seems that they have passed this little affliction down to their children.

The reason I am bringing this up is because while having dinner with my children this evening, my daughter was telling me about a boy that she has been having problems with in school all year. He has harassed her and bullied her, but she fights back and I am usually one to let kids be kids and not get involved unless something crosses the line.

I am seriously considering getting involved now.


Because the kid called my daughter the "F" word. No, not fucker or fuckhead or fucking bitch as I originally thought, but "faggot". Whether or not he knew better is irrelevant. At thirteen years old, there are things that you KNOW not to do. If she was black, I don't think he would have dared to call her the "N" word. But these kids throw words around without thinking about the consequences. At their age, labels and words hurt. It is difficult enough being a teenaged kid, but to have other children out there shooting off insults without thinking that they could be doing serious harm disturbs me.

And it isn't SD that I am worried about. She can take care of herself and while I won't say in detail what she did, I do believe that the boy will think very hard before he tries to insult her again in any way. I am proud of her for standing up for herself. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation and everything to do with being a better person. I have several people that I am very close to and whom have gotten me through extremely difficult times that I am PRIVILEGED to call my friends, who happen to be gay. It means nothing to me. I could care less if they were fucking eunuchs or leprechauns or had tails growing out of their ears. The only thing I care about is who they are as people.

Why oh why am I rambling on about this subject? Because it matters. Because there are people out there who are constantly being subjected to cruel and vicious statements and actions just because of who they are. And also? I am saddened by what I heard today. I don't want my children to be around ignorant and intolerant people, but there is no way to keep that from happening, so I try to teach them how to be good people.

And if they were to judge others, it would hopefully be on their woeful lack of fashion skills and ugly shoes as opposed to things that they themselves can not help.

But that's just me.

As for the rest, I think I am going to start by sending an e-mail to the school principal. I don't believe that these kids even realize how badly their words could hurt if said to the wrong person.

What do you think internet? Should I just let this go as an episode of kids being kids, or should I say something about it? I don't want to blow anything out of proportion, but it just doesn't seem right to me........


DangerDoll said...

Like you, I let my daughter handle her business until it becomes clear that she needs a taller-human assist. I say yes, absofuckinglutely send an email to the principal (and the teacher, if they're in the same class) about the incident. Thing with people like us - yanno, foul-mouthed, zero-tolerance, incredibly hot, uppity bitches - is that for every one of US who models empathy and embraces diversity, there's one of THEM...some fucking Dark Ages asshat "parent" (and I use the term loosely) out there modeling this kind of bullshit.

Maybe a school assembly on civility and bullying is in order. My daughter's school has one every year, and the kids froth at the mouth to tattle on someone who uses the N or F words. Rock on, my shorties!

(Also: I still read you, and still think you're a rock star, and still want to you move next door to me so we can be besties and read each other's diaries and braid each other's hair.)

sybil law said...

I'd tell the principal, definitely.

Avitable said...

I would definitely say something about it, cum-guzzler.

And why haven't you called me recently?

Anonymous said...

Working in a school system, I sometimes sit outside the doorway as the teenagers exit the building and listen to how these "Children" speak to each other or about others. I sometimes wonder if these kids even know they are saying the things that they are saying, or if has become second nature for them to speak like this. The swearing and name calling that I hear is quite different then even five years ago. Something needs done. I guess maybe it takes people like you to step up and make that statement. I know the administration here is getting tired of saying it to the parents. I will say this however. I hear parents come in during conference and say " I did not do well so I don't expect them to either" or " That is just how they talk today" . If it is not supported at home, it is very difficult for the administration to properly do there job. There are just too many parents these days that do not care. I hope that you get one of the parents that care and will put this child in his place. Believe me, I have kids that were called names and I feel for you and I am on your side. Good Luck ADW. An Old Friend.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

That is horrible! What kind of kid says that to a little girl? I mean, at least call her a dyke because that would make more sense.

Word Verification: Nogyro, as in, "no gyro tonight cause my ass is fat."