Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Thinking

Damn it all. I need to stop thinking so much and start writing. I am the world's greatest procrastinator and what I really need is someone to kick my ass and tell me to buck up and get going.

Instead, I think. I get ideas in the middle of the night that I never write down. I worry about things that haven't happened yet and will never happen unless I buckle down and start doing it.

Thinking sucks me in, because before I know it, hours have elapsed and I have gotten absolutely nowhere. I can blame the medical stuff or I can blame personal issues or I can blame being a busy mother. I CAN blame any number of things, but I won't because I am to blame.

At the end of the day, I am a chickenshit. I am too scared of rejection and too lazy to do something that I really, really want to do. The ultimate dream. And now? I am wavering. All I really want to do is go back to bed. What I should do is buckle down and write. What I probably will do is laundry.

I hate people like me today. Vacillating. Opting out. Being scared.

I need to remember to breath. And to remember that it's OK to be scared. I have been told in no uncertain terms that I have to stop trying to be perfect. Not that I think I am perfect, but that I try too hard to BE perfect. So I will wallow if I want to and if inspiration strikes, I just may get that little nudge that I need.

Love, Peace and Chicken Grease.

5 comments:

Memphis Steve said...

You know, it's entirely possible that most bloggers are procrastinators. I mean, aren't we supposed to be doing something else when we're writing on our blogs? I have tons of work to do, but when I get an idea in my head that I want to write about I either have to stop and write it then and there or I lose it.

Don't beat yourself up. I think you are very much like a lot of us out here. Keep at it. Don't give up. That's the main thing.

sybil law said...

I am most definitely a procrastinator. A proud one.
But if you want, I can come to your place with a whip and beat you until you gets to writin'.
Actually, I couldn't do that. But I can stand over you menacingly if you want. :)

Tug said...

There's a saying that I'm sure I'll say all wrong, but you'll get the point. "There's no great outcome without great risk".

Get after it girl, you CAN do it!

Avitable said...

Wait, you're not perfect? I never got that memo!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Just force yourself to write. Anything. It's never going to be perfect, but it will always be better than you thought it will be - often better when you come back to it and read it and say, "Shit. That's not half bad."