Thursday, January 3, 2008


I've gone and done it! I FINALLY found a Wii. I was half-heartedly attempting to procure one before Christmas for our "family" present, but with work and illnesses and holiday pageants and parties it just wasn't meant to be. After Christmas, I became more dedicated and made a plan of action and here it is:

  1. Call every store in the area once a day to inquire if they got any Wii's in that morning or the evening before and the following is the list of the stores that I called:
  2. Walmart - 4 of them
  3. Target - 3 of them
  4. Costco - 1 of them
  5. Best Buy - 2 of them
  6. After a lot of phone calls, I hit pay dirt with the nearest Walmart. The guy told me that they had just gotten a shipment in and they had one left but he couldn't hold it for me.
  7. I threw on a hoodie and some shoes (no shower, brushed teeth and hair in a ponytail) and rushed though the snow to the store.
  8. I raced down the aisles and arrived to find the VERYLASTFREAKINGWiiINTHESTORE
  9. I growled Wii!!!! at the poor fellow and he rang me up.
  10. I spent the next 6 hours trying to find an extra controller
  11. I got that but not the 2nd nunchuk thingie

Now it is 2:00 in the morning and my husband is still playing the thing. I think I touched it for all of 10 minutes before I got bored and dizzy with some Mario World game where a giant planet spins around in 3-D circles. Blech! As soon as I find the new Zelda game though, the family better back the fuck off. I am addicted to Zelda and I am not ashamed to say it, so there.

Random shit:

  • I have to go back to work on Monday after 2 weeks vacation - glorious
  • I stopped by my sister-in-law's house today (husband's brother's wife who I love!) and we bitched about the in-laws. We have already decided that I am hosting Easter so we don't have to go to my MIL's house
  • Christmas was AWESOME with my family UNTIL the in-laws came over that evening
  • My SIL from out of state and her husband are ice cold assholes. They brought a DOG to my house and then proceeded to hook up some Rock Star game for their Xbox (which they brought as well) and played it from the time they arrived until they left. Neither one of them said ONE word to me. I actually spoke to them both and got monosyllabic responses from the two of them. Idiots. These two should donate their brains to science to see if it is possible to make a full brain from two half-wits.
  • I waited a week and told my husband what I thought of their behavior. He noticed it as well and agreed with my perception of their fucktarded social skills and lack of respect. I also told him that they are not welcome back. Period.
  • I am now 30 and the only difference is that I am no longer in my 20's. Here's a toast to this decade being better than the last.
  • I was supposed to have people over on New Year's Eve, but with all of the illnesses going around not many people made it. I did drink three bottles of champagne with a girlfriend and was not buzzed one bit.
  • I think being on my period keeps me from getting intoxicated.
  • I want a hysterectomy. I will donate my womb to someone. It works really well. I just don't want it anymore.
  • I am not a cat person, but I have to say that our cat Butter is the coolest pet ever. My cleaning gal tried to steal him from us. He thinks he is a dog. Plus he follows me around the house. I like him better than either one of our dipshit, smelly dogs. HE does not make a mess or track mud through my house like those two.
  • I have no resolutions for the new year. I don't believe in making something I know I will break anyway. I am who I am and only I can change me.
  • The above is a mantra, not a resolution.
  • Cramps suck butthair dingleberries. There is not enough over the counter shit to take care of them. I get prescription drugs. Then I forget where they are and suffer anyway. I may be a masochist.
  • 2:00 AM is not the best time for incoherent rambling.
  • I know I haven't been blogging or visiting enough lately, but I am on VACATION!!!

I will stop by soon and visit y'all. Plus I put an e-mail link on my about me page, so you can now send me messages if you feel the need.

Oh and I hope all spammers get anally raped by a jackhammer in the New Year.

The End


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

As long as nobody squeaks in here while I'm typing, I'm NUMBER ONE.

I love the random stuff, ADW. And congrats on getting that Wii. I hope it's not a made-in-China one; those are like, 33% lead.

Have a great year. I look forward to reading you the whole year through.

Miss Britt said...

Wait - you got your husband to AGREE to the SIL and husband not being allowed back?

Oh please God tell me how.

The closest I've gotten so far is "yeah, she's just a bitch, don't take it personally."

Avitable said...

Super Mario Galaxy is fun - maybe you're too old for it.

Have you tried the normal game that comes with it - Wii Sports? The bowling, tennis, and golf will occupy you for hours.

Chuck said...

^^"maybe you're too old"

I hope he avitable doesn't live within ass kicking distance of you...

HNY, ADW. I'm glad you made it through the 30 barrier ok. Its traumatic leading up to it, but it goes away quickly. In the end, it was just another day for me.

Sorry your in-laws are such ass wads. Hopefully your hubby was adopted. :)


Poppy Cede said...

I don't even need a Wii, I just want Guitar Hero III for the Mac/PC, but that's backordered until February!

Anonymous said...

I love my Wii! Love it. And there's always someone who comes over for the first time and notices it and we end up playing Tiger Golf all night.

You need the Wii Zapper, it comes with a Zelda game :)

fatwonkkid said...

Haha...I have been playing with my wii for over 20 years...oh wait you mean Nintendo. Yeah, I been playing with that too.

I honestly don't have the patience for Mario Galaxy or Zelda. Although I did beat the original Zelda like 40 times back in my youth.

Amanda said...

that is almost exactly how I got my wii, but at gamestop. I called at 10:30 and they hadn't gotten their delivery yet, I called at 11 and they only had 1 left.

I spent all day yesterday curled in a ball with a heating pad because of goddamn cramps

Jeannie said...

My son has had Wii for a while. When he first got it, he let me compete at bowling and golf with him. Funny enough, my bowling game was EXACTLY what my bowling game was when I bowled for real. I sucked at golf just like I do for real too.

The out of state inlaws were just plain rude. I'd have invited them to join the festivities while they were there.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Well, I am glad you completed your quest!

Tug said...

LOVE the bowling & boxing - and can't wait to try the Guitar Hero III. But, since it's my grandson's game, it could be awhile. ;-(


RWA said...

You went shopping wearing nothing but a hoody and shoes?

Damn...and I missed it.

Congratulations on the Wii, by the way.

PrincessPolly said...

2 am is actually THE BEST time for incoherent rambling - especially when its as entertaining as yours!

Anonymous said...

oh fun! I'm mildly obsessed with zelda. I just got a ds for christmas and can't put it down.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

If you husband won't let you touch his Wii, you're welcome to come over and play with mine. I'll even let you fondle my nunchucks.

marky said...

Good. You're evolving darling. In your heart you're leaning towards cats. Think about it. The tiger, lion, cheetah, leopard, cats are incredible independent, beautiful, ferocious, mysterious.
Dogs: Smelly, shedding hair, Big piles of shit everywhere, way too dependent, LOUD, not really very eveolved creatures.
I don't get it but there's so much i don't get about modern Americans.

Kim Ayres said...

Happy New Year. And your 30s are definitely better than your 20s. Meanwhile, to kick the year off I've passed an award on to you.


We recently added to our video game family... apparently boxing, bowling, tennis, baseball and Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii we already have wasn't good enough.

We now own "Rockband" too.

We're looking for a hawt lead singer... interested?

Open Grove Claudia said...

Good for you for setting a limit! Whoo HOO!! Isn't being 30 great! Poor Miss Britt, we are going to have to give her lessons.

Hey, maybe you can donate your womb to my birth mother and she can get more plastic surgery. :)

Happy New Year!

Glamourpuss said...

My God those people's behaviour is extraordinarily rude - why didn't they just stay at home?


Canadian Girl said...

I found my way here thanks to Kim at Ramblings of the Bearded One. Love your writing; I'll definitely be back.

And yes, I too remember the Grape Dimetapp of our youth. I remember faking a cough in order to get a hit!

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