Monday, May 30, 2011

Fat and Happy?

I wonder if being happy makes you fat?  

Not necessarily MAKES you fat, but is there a correlation between being happy and maybe having a few extra pounds to lose?  Do some people take shortcuts with their health and fitness when things are going well?  

I don't really know the answer to that in general terms, but I do know that answer in my own life and that is a resounding Y-E-S.  I have gained close to 20 pounds in the last 2 years.  I have gone from mostly fit to a little out of shape.  I got lazy.  But was I really happy?  I know that I was depressed at times.  I was on medication for a misdiagnosed condition, so that had something to do with the weight gain.  I thought I was blissfully happy, so instead of making more time to take care of myself, I was spending more time working, with my children and my partner and I quit doing the physical things that both kept me in shape and released endorphins into my system, thus helping to keep my weight down.

I have pretty much always been on the thin side.  Most people thought I had an eating disorder for a long time, just because I had a super low BMI.  Not true.  What I had was a life filled with chaos.  I was going to school, working two to three jobs at a time and I was on my feet constantly.  This kept me slim.  Not skinny, but slim.  I have always looked like I weigh about 10 - 15 pounds less than I really do, so there was also a misperception of how much I weighed.  What was still on the pretty thin side was considered super skinny by people who didn't know me, because they looked at me and thought I was much smaller than I really was.  I even had a few doctors get on my case, which was hilarious because back then, I cold eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce.  But I was constantly stressed out.  I was working my ass off, literally.  So keeping in shape wasn't difficult.

Then came a second child.  I had to work a lot harder to lose that weight and get in shape.  But I did it and I started kickboxing, which is really great for toning up and burning calories.  But I still felt unhappy.  I still had this internal drive to keep moving forward, keep going on, keep working harder.  So I did, but I never felt really happy.

But as I said before, in the last two years, I slowed down.  I took time to focus on my health and well being.  I got a mixed up group of medicines and I got lazy.  And let's face it: a little chubby.  I stopped kickboxing.  I quit yoga and dance.  And even when I was working hard and traveling, I didn't focus on being healthy.  I ate on the run and what I did eat was full of fat.  That added to sitting on my ass and doing nothing also helped contribute.

So what does it all mean?  I don't think being happy means you gain weight.  I think losing sight of who you are - in my case - certainly helped add to it though.  And since I am changing my life, I am also changing this "thing" that is bothering me.  These few extra pounds that I am carrying around need to go bye-bye.  I neither need nor want to be skinny though.  I want to be fit and in shape.  I want to work off some of this cellulite and tone up again.  AND I think punching a heavy bag would help me out so much right now.  I even have some faces that I could tape up there for motivation!

I am so excited to be writing again.  I don't know where this is going, but I am doing it for ME.  Just like Ricky Bobby.

Have a safe and wonderful Memorial Day weekend and take the time out of your day to thank a veteran.

Much love.

5 comments:

Avitable said...

I was with you until the reference to that terrible Will Ferrell movie. :)

sybil law said...

Yeah - when I'm stressed, weight flies off of me, regardless of how or what I eat. I've never tried to lose weight, though - never really had to, either. But at my biggest, for me, I was probably 15 - 20 lb.s bigger than I am now - that was due to the pill, mostly. Although, I was in love, and we loooved cooking and eating we were basic gluttons and hedonists for anything that felt good, so I don't know. Hmmm. When we broke up, though - all the weight came off.

ADW said...

Adam - I AM Ricky Bobby. Ha ha. But I don't look as good in my underwear.

Syb - see. Unhappy and skinny. I want it all. Happy, thin and rich. I am working on it!

Memphis Steve said...

I desperately need my puching bag back again. And I need to join the kickboxing class. I'm already in a pump class, plus running, but it has had no effect at all on weight loss. Before that, I had a personal trainer for 1 1/2 years, but again, no effect on weight loss. And this inability to loss weight is one of the reasons I need that punching bag back, not because it'll have any effect on what is apparently a medical problem that defies the laws of thermodynamics, but because I'm frustrated as hell about it.

You wanna work out with me? Together we'll beat the shit out of that punching bag.

Anonymous said...

Well, you are adorable anyway. And, thanks I am a veteran. Here it is 4th of July now.....Marky