Thankful 2007

I am such a copycat, but I am doing a "things I am thankful for" as stolen from The Cherry Ride.

See Cherry, I told you that I would give you your proper.

1. My vagina - she flips, she spins, she makes grown men whimper
2. Captain Morgans - makes #1 more amorous
3. All other Rums - in case they are out of Captain Morgans
4. Capitalism - money, money, money.......MONEY
5. Technology - Makes me money, money, money......MONEY
6. Preparation-H - helps millions sit easier every day
7. Urban Dictionary - yeah
8. Swear Words - Where would we be people, without the ability to cuss a muthafucka out
9. SpongeBob Squarepants - keeps child #2 occupied for hours
10. The power of the boob - keeps the big kid occupied for hours
11. Mechanical Bulls - keeps me in a steady supply of #6
12. Tom Cruise's crazy ass - makes me laugh, shake my head and wonder at the supreme idiocy of Hollyweird
13. Other Bloggers - I heart you hard core
14. Trailer hitch bull testicles - Have you ever seen these flapping about while driving down the highway? It's a site for the ages.
15. People with a sense of humor
16. Gay hairdressers
17. Kickboxing class - it has kept me out of both jail and rehab. Totally worth the 39 bucks a month.
18. Baby wipes
19. High heels
20. Short skirts
21. The fact that both #19 and #20 supply me with #2 for free
22. Turkey
23. John Madden's fat ass on screen eating Turducken every third Thursday in November.
24. Our men and women serving in the military.
25. My family
26. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
27. The space program
28. The human body's ability to fart
29. Ice Cream Cake
30. Fat babies
31. Great friends
32. Better enemies
33. People who say what's on their mind and don't give a fuck who cares.
34. The Declaration of Independence and her sister the Constitution - we're not perfect, but I still live in the greatest country on earth.
35. AstroGlide
36. My Eager Beaver and her sister the Wascally Wabbit
37. Singapore Slings
38. The word cunt
39. Parents who like to drink
40. Neighbors who RAWK

I am sure there is a bunch of other shit I am missing, but for now, it's good enough.

I will leave you all with this conversation I had with the Mr the other day:

I was leaving the house Saturday morning to go to my kickboxing class. I was running late and grabbed Mr's old, ratty ass Ohio State sweatshirt that is quite possibly older than I am.

I kiss the hubs on the cheek (he is asleep in bed) and start to walk down the stairs. I am halfway down when I hear this:

Mr - "Hey you! Get back up here a sec."

Me - Walk back into the bedroom "What?"

Mr - "That's what I thought I saw. Take my sweatshirt off."

Me - "Are you serious?"

Mr - "Look Ohio State is playing Michigan today and I have to wear my sweatshirt. So take it off and find something else to wear"

Me - ????? Glaring "Seriously?"

Mr - Just stares

Me - "FINE!!! But this sweatshirt won't suck your dick" I take it off and throw it at him.

Mr- After looking at me and then at the sweatshirt. "Well you don't either"

Me - "Point taken"

And since OSU stomped that team from up north's ass into the ground, I have a feeling that I will never be allowed to wear the sweatshirt.

One more thing:

How do you keep a Michigan player from masturbating?

Answer:

Paint his dick Scarlet and Grey, he won't beat it for years.

A ha ha ha.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!