Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Ghost

Congratulations to Kelly "The Ghost" Pavlik. A northeastern Ohio and Youngstown native, he beat Jermain Taylor in a unanimous decision last night, a few months after he won Taylor's WBO-WBC belts with a TKO in the 7th round of their first meeting.

I love promoting Ohio and I really enjoy watching an exciting boxing match. Since they were fighting up a weight class, Pavlik wasn't risking his newly earned belts, but watching these two pound it out on the mat was still thrilling. We left a wedding reception a little early so that we could find a place showing the fight. Apparently the bar at the Holiday Inn doesn't show pay-per-view boxing matches. Go figure.

It was difficult to leave the reception for the entertainment value itself. Some crazy blond chick who thought she was God's gift to mankind took it upon herself to teach us all just how to not behave at a respectable function. Now I can totally understand getting snookered and making an ass out of yourself for one song, but the ENTIRE time, she was dancing or attempting to dance. Someone had to come pull her off a few times so that they could do the bridal dance and the father-daughter and mother-son dances. Where were her friends? Neither the bride, not the groom claimed to know her, so she had to have been the date of someone.... First date? And if so, why didn't her guy make her control herself? But I am glad he didn't. We had a great time watching her shimmy and shake all of the dance floor. But the best part was that she totally didn't fit the bill of someone who gets shitfaced and stripper dances her way through a reception. She was about 5'10", 100 pounds, super-bony and she was wearing this horrible granny print dress that most librarians would have a hard time wearing. But, crappy clothes or not, she persevered and managed to make us all laugh, so I guess it was a job well done.

We ended up watching the fight at a place where I used to bartend. We lucked out and got to sit next to the ONLY Jermain Taylor fan in the place. Who was also a Michigan fan. How do I know? Well he was rooting for Taylor quite loudly throughout the fight and then after Pavlik won and the DJ played Hang On Sloopy (the official rock song of the State of Ohio and an old standby for any Buckeye fan), he started yelling out Go Blue. Uh, dude. I don't know if you realize this, but boxing tends to bring extra testosterone out in men. So if I were you, I would keep my mouth shut before 300 rednecks in mullets slam their fists right into your face making you as toothless as they are. Yes you are within your rights to root for whomever you like, but you don't go into another man's house and fuck his wife and you don't go into a local bar and cheer for the opposition. You just don't. I have a vagina and even I know these incorruptible man rules.

So anyway, congrats to Kelly Pavlik. Here's to a successful bid to unite all for belts in the next two years. I think you can do it.

ADW

10 comments:

lspoon said...

There's such a fine line here with sports. It's all about the basketball and it's all about what shade of blue you root for. If you're in the wrong part of town in sky blue...you're going to get your ass beat.

And random drunk people at weddings are awesome!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Is he a white kid?

Paticus said...

I always kinda thought it would be neat if the literally united the belts. If they interlocked like Lego's or something. But I guess that really has very little to do with Ohio, Michigan or boxing.
go Purdue ?
:)

Avitable said...

You left a wedding reception to watch a boxing match?

Are you sure you don't have a pair of testicles hidden away under that treasure chest you call a vagina?

ADW said...

Lspoon - I have finally given in after months and months and no longer call you Mim. WTF?

Dr. K - He is very pale.

Paticus - That would be a very heavy belt.

Avitable - I keep checking, but nothing has dropped yet and it has been 30 years. Maybe I am a really, really, really late bloomer.

Mr. Fabulous said...

300 rednecks in mullets slam their fists right into your face making you as toothless as they are.

Awesome promoting of Ohio! :)

VE said...

What's so hard about uniting all belts? I did. Two of them wore out and one wasn't fashionable so, yep, I'm down to one united belt!

George said...

What's so wrong about going into another man's house and fucking his wife?

ADW said...

VE - United Belt. It sounds like a tool and die company.

George - nothing until you get caught.

Open Grove Claudia said...

So....

Did the boxing make the husband...

erm....

service oriented??