Monday, May 21, 2007

A Great Big Fuck You

SEARS

You motherfucking corporate giant pain in the fucking ass cocksuckers.

People, if you do only one thing for me EVER, DO NOT BUY ONE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FROM SEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe the shit that those assholes are putting me through.

This is the deal:

We bought a house almost two years ago and purchased our appliances through Sears. For some reason, they opened up TWO accounts in our name and double charged us for a fraction of the purchase on the second account. We have spent the last TWENTY-TWO fucking months trying to straighten this shit out to no avail. We have sent them numerous copies of the receipts. We have sent all of the letters that they requested. We have talked to no less than 463 different fucking people from Sears, CitiBank (they sold the account) and now a collection agency. NO ONE HAS DONE ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT THIS AND I AM FUCKING PISSED PEOPLE.

I get 17 calls a day on my cell phone - I have no idea how they got that number - and each time it is a different person and they tell me that they are taking notes about the issue and they will no longer contact us. Guess what??? They call back a pissfucktarding hour later and I want to strangle someone through the phone.

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

I am at my wits end and I really didn't have much wit(s) to begin with. I hate dealing with this, but what I hate even more is knowing that this issue is affecting my credit score and I worked my ass off to pay off a shitload of debt. Fuck that I say.

I feel like I am being hassled by this bullshit crock of elephant turds and I am seriously considering taking legal action. I mean there are laws out there that protect honest consumers like me, aren't there?

Legal Eagle, help me out here, what should I do? We are being harassed over a debt that wasn't ours to begin with and I absolfuckinglutely refuse to pay one cent to them that I do not owe, including interest and late fees on this amount that we were double charged for.

I'll say it again: FUCK YOU SEARS, you GIANT PIECE OF COCKSUCKING CUNTINESS. I FUCKING HATE YOU AND YOUR CORPORATE "WE NEVER MAKE A FUCKING MISTAKE" CULTURE.

Kiss my ass, you will never see another dime from me.

FUCK YOU,
ADW

15 comments:

Malnurtured Snay said...

I think it's time you contacted a lawyer. I'm sure you could sue for "pain and suffering".

Kim Ayres said...

A lawyer sounds like a good idea to me too

Mr. Fabulous said...

Definitely. Hit them right between the eyes with an attorney. It sucks you have to hire one though...

ADW said...

Snay, Kim and Mr. Fab - You are all absolutely right. I can't think of any alternatives at this point and there have to be laws that protect people from being hassled by a collector for a debt they do not owe. It still pisses me off...

themuttprincess said...

I would contact an attorney ASAP. I would be piiiiissssseeeed as well.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I am SOOOOO turned on right now...

Legaleagle said...

Oy veigh! Sears does it again -- screws people, that is!

First and foremost, my standard disclaimer: I am not an attorney. I just play one on TV. I can not give legal advice. However, I can tell you where to find information that you can interpret on your own or with legal counsel.

Secondly, please screw Sears' ass to the wall.

Yes, there are laws that govern collections practices. They're called FDCPA (http://www.ftc.gov/os/statutes/fdcpa/fdcpact.htm)
and by calling you on your cell phone, Sears is violating them. (I actually have a background in credit and finance) All you have to do to stop that is tell them very specifically that you would not like to receive calls on your cell phone. You may want to even fib a little and say you use it for work. There are a slew of FDCPA guidelines and you should know them to know how these collectors are violating them.

Now, and this is important: DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Get people's names. I know you're totally pissed because they're calling you, but try to remember, they're just doing their job. Your account pops up on their screen about 2 seconds before you answer the phone. Try to be nice even if you're upset, because when you're nice, people get comfortable and they slip up and give you useful information like their name. So, when you sue the shit out of sears you can tell them you talked with Mary Smith on December 23, 2006 at 6:30 p.m. and she was the third person to contact you -- the other two were...(you get the idea).

As for contacting an attorney. Yes, you should. You may have to pay a consultation fee (depending on your area...usually a couple hundred bucks) but you can explain the situation and get an idea of what you can do. Contact your state or local bar association to get someone who handles this type of matter. Bankruptcy attorneys would most likely have the most knowledge about creditors, but there may be someone who specializes in this. Have a list of questions written down and ready for the consultation. If it's a man, look professional yet sexy -- you'll get more information out of them and they're willing to spend a few extra minutes with you. Turn on the charm but ask every last question on your list. You may find out what you need to do without having to retain the attorney.

Lastly, good luck. Dealing with these bastards can be a pain in the ass. Having said that, please stick it to Sears. They totally suck.

Good luck!

The Legal Eagle

p.s. -- longest comment ever?!

tfg said...

Cuntiness is pure gold. I may name my first child that, even if it's a boy.

Anonymous said...

Jesus H. Christ.
No more Sears shopping for me!
LegalEagle sounds smart..Listen to her.
Me? I would suggest making pipe bombs and slipping them in the mannequin's hollowed out legs.
This is LIZ by the way.
xoxo

Nancy said...

I have not shopped at Sears, ever ... I remember many years ago my folks always complaining how that company screws everyone and everything up!

Legaleagle said...

p.p.s. -- Please let me know how it goes.

Scary Monster said...

So your sayin you don't like Sears.

Next time maybe you ought to be a little more direct. All the euphemisms and metaphore really throws me off....
STOMP.

P.S. And STOMP on muthafukin Sears too!
Tee Hee

fatwonkkid said...

sears are a bunch of douche bags. I went there to buy some appliances. I was looking at a whirlpool washer. They guy insisted I look at the Kenmore. My wife said she wanted the WP. He said well the KM is made by Whirlpool, it is the same thing.

OK, well the KM is $100 more, can you drop the price to the WP. "Oh no, we can't do that. We only price match identical items".

"I thought you said they were the same thing douchebag"

I would think a phone call to the attorney general, or your local news station might persuade them otherwise. Doesn't this full under fraud or racketeering or something....

Yeah Him said...

No point offering any of my own advice now - looks like everyone else got to it first.

All the same, I'd start getting names with these phone calls and request to be transferred up through to the manager of the entire company. Perhaps you could even get to GWBush after a while and demand his involvement.

Hope it works out.

Mim said...

I actually worked in Sears Credit Card portfolio as a Customer Service Rep for 8 months. It ate my soul.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I know it's a bitch. All I can offer (and who knows when you'll see this comment since this post is a month old) is to immediately ask for supervisors. No matter what situation you're in, if they call you or you call them ask to speak directly to their supervisor. They will try to convince you to let them work it out for you but they can't, it's just what they have to say in order to help themselves with numbers and compliance.

If it is any help at all, if I had ever spoken to you about this, we would have had it fixed, pronto. I was one of the nice Customer Service Reps, not one of the ones who would jerk you around and put you on 'musical time-outs' due to your vocal volume.

At this point I wish I could still get in the system and fix this for you :)