Thursday, May 3, 2007

Quit Fucking With Me...

OK - so this is my big fuck you to everyone and everything today:

FUCK YOU - stomach, the flames of wasabi you keep shooting out of my ass leaves me feeling violated, raw and in dire need of vaseline.

FUCK YOU - drunk redneck, who was fighting with his boss in the middle of the bar last night. That is a sure fire one way ticket back to Alabama son.

FUCK YOU - to people who think I don't know how to do my job.

FUCK YOU - to the guy that keeps telling me that he "wishes I were a hot chick, then I would have an easier time selling". Fuck you dumbass. Being a woman in this industry is extremely difficult. Having my coworkers assume that the only reason I am good at what I do is because I give out free blow jobs is unacceptable - Blow Jobs are free you shit. FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!!!!!

If I gave head for every sale I got in the last six months, I would have fucking lockjaw. My lips would fall off and my teeth would rot out of my mouth.

FUCK YOU - for the "*nudge, nudge, @wink, wink*" elbow about my "special" relationship with one of my vendors. Yes we have a relationship, we have been business associates and then friends for four years now. Does that mean I am fucking him? No. It. Does. Not.

We help each other out. I make his job easier and he makes mine easier. If I had a fucking dick hanging in between my legs, there would be no snarky comments or sly insinuations about us. If I were a dude, we'd just be buddies. Well FUCK YOU!!

In case you can't tell, I am more pissed off than when I broke my ass at Hooters. The fuck of it all is the guy that is pulling this shit doesn't even realize what he is saying, or the effect that it has on me. It is kind of a running joke with some of my engineers and they are in on it, but he is not. He is a very successful salesperson and I respect him immensely, but he has a real downside when it comes to his oral diarrhea. He just spouts off without thought to what he is saying or who the words are aimed at.

I am not really sure if I am going to say anything to him at this point or not. I really like the guy and he has been a good mentor, but he is a little bit of a geek and thinks that saying the shit he says is humorous and it really makes him look like a giant Dillhole and pisses me the fuck off. BUT - the guy really fought to hire me and is one of the partners in my company.

It's a dilemma. I am not really great at holding my tongue, but I don't want to rock the boat this early in my career. I think my best solution is to sell balls out in my patch, exceed my quota for the year and then see if that shuts him up.

What do you guys think??

Oh Yeah:
FUCK YOU - to my dentist who called with a "reminder" about my cleaning, but failed to say who was calling. When I called all of my doctors, including that dentist, I was told by all that I had NO appointments. Then I miss the time and they charge me $25 for not cancelling in advance. WHAT THE FUCK you stupid fucking accounting fuck douche cock sucking cunt. I am NOT paying that fee - FUCK OFF is all you get.

Anyone want to give a FUCK YOU?

Feel free to leave yours in the comments section.

14 comments:

Miss Kitty said...

Yes! A big "FUCK YOU" to all these assholes you've mentioned in your post! And a big FUCK YOU to students who wait until 24 hours before a research paper is due to even begin WRITING it! FUCK 'EM ALL!

When I worked as a dancer, a guy asked me (at the end of a VERY bad night) how much a blow job cost. I replied, "One million dollars." He kept asking again, and I kept giving my price: $1 million. I told him, "That is the price. If you don't like it, quit asking me about it."

He shut up and left after that. :-P

Helen Skor said...

A big "FUCK YOU" to the old guy who sits outside my office and constantly stirs up drama because he's bitter about having old balls and no one to show them to.

Kalleigh Hathaway said...

I have a few FUCK YOUs that have been brewing but I really can't share them here. Unfortunately, that's one of the reasons that they're still brewing.

I don't know what to tell you about the Dillhole. I wasn't quite clear as to whether he had supervisory authority over you or not. If not, I'd take him aside and seriously say that you're offended by his comments and throw in the term "sexual harassment" there somewhere without making an actual accusation. That should raise his eyebrows enough to drive the point home.

Legaleagle said...

And FUCK YOU to the asshole who just got his divorce finalized that thinks I'm going to sleep with him because he's single now. I'm nice, that doesn't mean I'm interested, it doesn't meant I'm flirting with you and it doesn't mean that I'm going to sleep with you. Asshole.

I feel better now. This was a great idea! Thanks.

Legaleagle said...

p.s. -- I think demolishing your quota WOULD shut him up....the little fucker.

Malnurtured Snay said...

I heart this post ;)

James Burnett said...

That made me want to stand up and applaud. Sometimes the A-holes around us deserve giant FU's. Good stuff. Found your blog through Manola's Sex and the Beach. Will be back to read more.

ADW said...

Miss K - THAT is freaking awesome.

Miss Helen - Old Balls are NEVER a reason to be bitter, but always a reason to laugh.

KH - To be honest, he does not even realize that he is saying anything offensive, so it is up to me to either shit or get off the pot so to speak. I am going to wait a little longer and see... But this is my venting process.

Eagle - really?? You should post about him and blast his ass. Also, totally unrelated, I need to post some shoe pictures up here. Oh the love..

Snay - So we both have heart ons for each other?


Funny Newspaper Guy - aka James Burnett - can I just say that your "Newman" post was cracking me up? I'll just say that.

Variant E said...

Fuck! I radomnly ran across your fucking site and well, fuck me! You use the word fuck more than any other site I can find. 23 fucks in this post alone. I am fucking impressed.

Kim Ayres said...

There are times when nothing but a big FUCK YOU will do, it's true. I generally keep my blog relatively clear of the profanities because there is a slightly more family feel to it sometimes. However, if you've ever read Blunt Cogs to any extent, you'll see that it can act as a great release.

tfg said...

WHAT THE FUCK you stupid fucking accounting fuck douche cock sucking cunt.

That made me misty eyed.

grumblemurray said...

i loved the fuck you to the dentist. fuck them all. all doctors. fucking cuntfaced thieves. absolutely don't pay those motherfuckers.

but you can't blame your stomach for what comes out your asshole. blame your bowel for that. your bowel is such an ass!

i would like to say FUCK YOU to me, for fucking everything up and being a self-loathing loser, and to my parents, for raising me as a self-loathing loser who fucks everything up.

whew. thanks.

Gucci Muse said...

I think the guy has a grade school mentality and is attracted to you....OR he is one jealous moron....

ADW said...

VE - yeah - I swear - A LOT - it gets me through my day

Pirate - I have read Blunt Cogs and it's funny as hell

TFG - I try, I try

Grumble - I will blame both my intestines and my stomach. It is my right as an American. I can't help with the self-loathing.

Gucci - Nah - he is actually a really good guy, he just doesn't realize that what he is saying bothers me.