Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Pissed Off

My three year old told his sister that she was "pissing him off" the other day. My husband and I had to walk away so he wouldn't see us laugh. The kid looks like an angel, but can come up with some doozies.

I came home last night to the family straightening up the house. When I walked in, the little one was hiding behind his dad. My husband nudged him forward and told him to tell me what he did. He hemmed and hawed, but wouldn't say it outright. Finally, the hubs told me to look in the bathroom. Apparently, Peanut Butter was supposed to be "cleaning" the bathroom. Instead he decided to put band aids all over this Indian Elephant that I have sitting on top of the shitter. He knocked the statue over, so when I walked in, I saw the elephant missing the top of his head, but he was covered in band aids. It was so absurd that I started laughing. I just couldn't help myself.

I am so up and down these days. I get a little despondent every time Christmas rolls around. I miss my grandmother all of the time, but especially during the holidays. She was the only one who made them special for me growing up, so I recognize my feelings for what they are: normal.

I also feel so blessed to have so many wonderful readers and friends that I have met while blogging this past year. I can honestly say that when I started writing it was more for me to have an outlet than anything else. Now, after nine short months, I am amazed at the love that I have seen in the blogging world. Through the comedy and tragedy, the laughter, tears and terrors, one thing stands true. There ARE people out there who truly care. I have received Christmas cards from quite a few of you and you have no idea what that means to me. In this information and technology age where IRL stands for "in real life", I don't know that that is true when describing us. Whether it is someone posting about abuse, the loss of a loved one, or just driving down the road singing to old pop songs, we all recognize a little bit of ourselves in others.

We may be white, black, Asian, hairy, skinny, chubby, Republican, Democrat, Green, Independent, Atheists, Christians, Muslims, Agnostics, single, married, with kids, without kids, cat lovers, dog lovers, ice cream lovers, gorillas or monkeys, but we have all connected. I have never had a bad day and not been able to read some hilarious post, or get an e-mail or IM from a buddy that didn't make that day a little more tolerable. That is the best gift of all. An open heart and a willingness to listen to my tyrannic bullshit blathering. My long-winded diatribes filled with every combination of cuss word known to man where people not only understand and are sympathetic, but they applaud my moxie. Yeah, I said moxie... you wanna make something of it?

So to all of you out there, thank you so very much. To the bloggers I have gotten to know well, I really do adore you. To those I am just getting to connect with, I am excited to learn more about you. And to the lurkers, leave a comment. I may be a stone cold bitch, but I have ALWAYS been nice to my first time commenters. It's the sophomore comments that can get a little hairy. To those of you who read and think that you can't blog, go ahead and give it a try. There's nothing to lose and a whole world of friendships and perspectives to gain.

I guess I am in a reminiscent mood and not at all like my title up there. I truly believe in the Christmas spirit. I think that there is so much that we can do for others out there and all it takes is a kind word. So here is what I want you all to do. Go off to a blog site that you haven't been to before, preferably one that is newer. Leave a comment for them. Now, now children, you have to be nice. Tell them that they are doing a good job and encourage them to blog more. It will make someones day and is just a little something nice that we can do.

Now I am off to bake more cookies and sing Silent Freakin' Night at the top of my lungs. My kids and the pets will most likely hit the ground and army crawl away quicker that you can say Tango Charlie, but ask me if I care.

50 comments:

Poppy Cede said...

ADW, you just made me smile. :)

If I had a kid who band-aided and knocked the head off an elephant that sat on top of my toilet I'd burst out laughing too.

marky said...

You know how much I adore you. I really try to keep my raging passion to a low roar. To Grandma's memory, Merry Christmas Baby!

Dan said...

ADW, this was a very sweet post. I'm sending you a heap of hugs for the holidays. Keep your grandmother alive in your memories, Sweetie. She'll always be alive there. I promise.

I'm glad we connected this year in the big, bad blogosphere. I echo your sentiments about blogging. There are some wonderful folks out there. And you're one of them. Hugs.

Bo Bo said...

What your sons three and he’s already knocking the top off in the bathroom with peanut butter?

Nice post, I miss my grandparents as well.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Knock off the touchy feely shit. I just told a new blogger to go fuck himself. I do this every day.

And why in the name of all that is fucked do you have an elephant on your toilet? No wonder your kids are weird.

Tug said...

Band-aids make everything better. That, with a (hug). Merry Christmas ADW...may you find much love. Your grandma's celebrating with you you know...as is mine - I asked her special.

Many ((hugs)), much happiness.

Amanda said...

Kids are so funny when they say curse words

Betty said...

I miss my grandmother too, she made christmas everything.

Have a wonderful christmas and hug your man,

love betty xxx

Kitty said...

Merry Christmas hot bitch. x

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I walked in on my five-year-old nephew playing doctor with a girl. It was innocent, all the clothes were on, but it was still funnier than hell to me.

That barely related to your blog, but, whatever.

Sorry you are sad about grandma and stuff. : (

abstractjenn said...

Awwwww ADW we love you too!

lspoon said...

I amused your husband thought he could send your kid into clean the bathroom and expect to find something other than mischief.

I'm glad you're not pissed off.

George said...

Nicely written and very true ... you da best

ADW said...

Poppy - it was pretty funny.

Marky - Merry Christmas

Dan - Hugs back atcha

Dyck - The elephant is the sacred sprirt of the penis and protects it while taking a wee. You should have known that.

Tug - Maybe they're together eating cookies and bossing God around.

Amanda - I almost fell over when he said that.

Betty - I hate that it is summer over there. Pisser.

Kitty - Right back to you hot bitch.

Dr. K - Did you give him a high five?

Jen - Mushy sentiment. Don't get used to it.

Mim - I know, right? Who sends a 3 year old in to clean a bathroom without expecting something to get broken? Duh.

George - Thank you. Once a month or so can find me this melancholy.

Chuck said...

ADW, Just remember that your Grandma is always there with you. Though you can't see or touch her, you can feel her in your heart.

I can relate to kids swearing. My 13 year old recently said "Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attack" when I popped a balloon outside her bedroom door. It was so shocking and funny, I had difficulty trying to tell her it was not appropriate to speak that way.

Speaking of my daughter, I thought of you when she said she wanted to go to Hooters for our Daddy-Daughter dinner. Of course, I didn't argue too much. ; )

I stopped blogging because I have never been the diary kind of person. Not too much interesting happens to an uber-nerd and I just can't imagine that anyone would be interested in my drivel.

Plus, my social skills are somewhat lacking. I've never been able to write a coherent story. I absolutely love the way you write.

Chuck

fatwonkkid said...

it sounds like you are the type of parent that can't be the stern disciplinarian when your kid does something bad, but is seriously funny.

ADW said...

Chuck - Have fun at dinner.

Fat - You are SOOOOO wrong. I am actually extremely disciplined with my children and still believe in spanking. But every once in a while, you can't help but laugh. My kids walk the line.

Avitable said...

Knowing your bathroom habits, I'd think you'd be leaving an elephant IN the toilet on a regular basis.

Miss Britt said...

The term IRL always feeds my fear that I really am crazy.

Glamourpuss said...

You're right, pet. There is something very real about connecting with people through the purity of their words. Blogging has been such a support to me through a very difficult year and it's good to express gratitude for that.

All hail the bloggers!

Puss

Mr. Fabulous said...

Bloggers ARE the best people.

And you rock!

wafelenbak said...

"I recognize my feelings for what they are: normal."

Thank you for this reminder.
You are a stand-up girl, and I'd happily mix you a Captain & Coke with Lime and throw a little Xanax on the cocktail napkin. ;)

metalmom said...

I see a little of myself in you...usually I'm fantasizing late at night, but whatever!

metalmom said...

Oh yeah! I wanted to pass on this bit of Christmas cheer..

When things get on your nerves and you're feeling less than merry, sing your favorite songs and add "Fuckin'" e.g. "Jingle fuckin' bells" and "Frosty the fuckin' snowman" I always feel better!

Franki said...

I'm glad to have stumbled upon you. Your personality is irrepressible and your wit a necessity. Happy holidays to you!

Memphis Steve said...

Your blog is a success because of your amazing personality. I'm quite sure your boy learned the "pissing me off" phrase from his awesome mommy. I can just imagine what it must be like growing up with a mom who has such a fabulous personality. All I ever learned from my mom was "fiddlesticks" when she was mad, and "damn" when she was REALLY mad. Yawn.

I understand about missing your grandmother. My dad died a year and a half ago and it's still weird to go home and him not be there.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you. You are a very special person. It shines through every time you write. Your husband is a lucky man. Make sure you tell him I said so.

Samantha_K said...

The band-aided elephant was great. He was just trying to fix it up, Mommy. Band-Aids make everything better.

Now that you've got me all sad and thinking about my own dead grandmother, I'm going to go cry a little, and eat my weight in sugar.

;)

themuttprincess said...

That is so cute. 3 year olds are priceless. My neice ALWAYS does something that is adorable that makes me smile. Gotta love it!

Thank you for being who you are. Your posts generally make me chuckle out loud.

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

random moments said...

I usually just lurk here, but really wanted to say how cute the bandaid elephant story was. He was just trying to fix him. Aww.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

I am a stalker and I am coming out! Happy Holidaze to you, you make my work days tolerable! And never forget, your Grandma is always around you...

Jax

Jeannie said...

Most of my posts don't end up with what they started - that's why I rarely title them.

Kids often do things you should be mad at but you aren't.

It's good to remember our loved ones even if it hurts a bit.

CHIC-HANDSOME said...

how are you?

Marianne said...

I find you both entertaining and lovely. And most of all, I appreciate how you make me feel normal.

The end.

Merry everything!

MARFSBABY said...

ADW... that was the nicest post ever. I heart you and I'm glad you blog. You do it for us too.

VE said...

Happy holidays to your family from mine. It's been fun reading your blog this year and I look forward to another year of the same...

And nobody thought I could really be serious for a second...

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

What a wonderful post.

And I love a lady who can use the word "shitter" so gracefully and effortlessly!

Miss Kitty said...

Bless you, ADW. I [heart] you, too...I am so happy to know you. Even if it IS just through blogging. :-)

BottleBlonde said...

Awwww ADW, I'd give you a big hug if I could. Your blog is one of my very favorites. And I feel blessed to have you as my blogging pal as well.

Now show us your tits!

Open Grove Claudia said...

Ahhhh... and I thought you didn't care. I love the elephant. What a great kid!

Merry Christmas - may this one shine brightly in your memory!

RWA said...

Sorry about your elephant, but you reacted perfectly.

It is amazing what the blogging world can do for you, isn't it?

The Charming Hedonist said...

1. He covered it in bandaids? Priceless.

2. I've often enjoyed the word 'moxie'.

Happy Christmas and all that jazz.

honkeie2 said...

I am soo sorry i am not sober ebnuff ti really comment on this ...tut its the holidays so i drink away my pain....happy whatevere....phil

Diesel said...

Merry Christmas, ADW. A few more band-aids will fix that elephant right up. Of course, he'll never forget the trauma inflicted upon him.

metalmom said...

Happy Birthday, Babe!

Scary Monster said...

Stompy Christmas, me well endowed freind.
Hope alla ya dreams come true!

Scary Monster.

Me goin out to nibble onna reindeer, yeah!

The Charming Hedonist said...

I laughed my ass off when my 3 year old niece said she was talking to all of her "bitches and hoes". When my sister asked her where she heard that, she sheepishly pointed at me. I said it ONE TIME, as a joke! When she said that, I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants!

Fantastagirl said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tug said...

BAH!!!!!!! HAPPY HAPPY BELATED!!!

Tug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BottleBlonde said...

Happy belated Birthday, wild thang!