Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Is this some kind of cruel joke?

Holy shite!!! I got nominated as a Rockin' Girl Blogger from three sexy bitches and I am not sure what to say. At first I thought it was some mean joke that was being played on the dorky kid at school with the thick glasses and her nose constantly in a book, but then I realized that it was for reals ya'll.

Since each nomination was done differently, I randomly picked a name out of my dildo drawer and I will be following the outline of Tug's post. But each one of these ladies is super fucking great in her own way.

Tug of Just Tug is suprisingly nasty for a grandma and has a heart of gold. Unless you fuck with her family and then she'll slice your throat you dirty buggers.

I want to grow up to be GlamourPuss of The Pole Affair. She is super confident and knows how to work a pole like a fat man at a pie eating contest. I think she should go on a tour across America (she's a sexy Brit) and teach Pole Dancing along the way.

And Mim, who may be related to me somehow, but I like her anyway (=

So now it is my turn to answer some questions and then bestow this honor on some "ladies" (snort, snort) that I love as much as these three.

So here goes:

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

1. Freelance Cynic
2. Are We There Yet??
3. It's A Blog Eat Blog World
4. More Random Than Average
5. Bluepaintred
6. Wasting Away in Blogaritaville
7. Amy's Random Thoughts
8. Just Tug
9. ExHootersGirl AKA ADW

I'm lazy, so I am just adding my name to the bottom to save time and energy. Next select five people to tag, then answer the following questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Trying to figure out how I ended up married with a child at the age of 18 and how to make my life better while minimizing the collateral damage.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Trying to figure out how I ended up married a second time (with a 2nd child) before I turned 30 to someone who loves me more than anything and how to keep myself from fucking it up.

Five snacks you enjoy:
Fried Squirrel Pubes
Bacon with a side of raw carrots
The still beating heart of any endangered species
Deep Throating Fudgecicles

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Gimme That Nut - Eazy E
Seven Spanish Angels - Willie Nelson and Ray Charles
Amazing Grace
Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns 'n Roses

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Pay off my mortgage
Buy a second home in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Get 10,000 in brand new one dollar bills and then fuck for 24 hours straight while laying in a bed lined with the money
Buy a really great hammock
Hire Willie Nelson to play at my next party

Five bad habits:
Pimpslapping random strangers and the odd Jehovah's Witness who wander to my door
Not having enough foul words in my repertoire
Being crotchety while talking on the phone
Having unprotected sex with my husband - my man candy would be pissed if I got knocked up again
Masturbating on the Ohio Turnpike
Using my teeth while giving head

Five things you like doing:
The occasional Pony
I draw the line at anything else

Five things you would never wear again:
A ball gag
A red bandanna = apparent danger in any downtown area
Nipple Paint
Tube Tops

Five favorite toys:
Umm, you don't really want me to answer this do you?

And now, to tell five others "You Rock!", while trying to figure out who hasn't already been told. Trying to bring in some new blood here...and trust me...they ALL.ROCK. YOU all rock.

1. Amy
2. Britt
3. Legal Eagle
4. DangerDoll
5. Miss Kitty

I heart each one of the ladies listed above for various reasons and I am sure that they have already been tagged, but there you go.



Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

THANKS for the nod! I would do the quiz, too, but your answers are so fucking fantastic and contain anything I would have said only you said them better, so there's no point!

I'm headed off to check out your other peeps...

(I left this comment before but left out a crucial word and it sounded very, very wrong. And not in that really good way, either.)

Mim said...

I'm glad you finally got around to doing this!

Have you been researching me? How might we be related? Or is it a joke I'm not getting b/c it's Friday and I'm really slow?

Amy said...

Awwwwww, thank you!!! You totally deserve this award because you totally rock. Really... totally... rock. ;)

Glamourpuss said...

So, of those three words, I'm think ing which will I be? 'Three'? 'Sexy'? or 'Bitches'? Yeah, 'bitches'...

I frequently look like a fat man at a pie eating contest when on the pole. Nothing like hanging upside down off a knee to give you that 'I'm just about to have a coronary' rosy, fat-cheeked glow.

If I tour, will you be my manager?

The [Cherry] Ride said...

"Masturbating on the Ohio Turnpike"


ADW said...

Doll - hee hee and thanks

MIM - I think it's the Friday thing

Amy - welcome

Puss - Yes I will

Cherry - I cannot tell a lie

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I tried masturbating on the Ohio Turnpike once. Unfortunately, my enormous wang wouldn't fit through the toll booth.

Miss Britt said...


(that's still cool to say that, right?)

Da Monkey Code said...

Anytime you care to sing those songs come on over, we have the most carefully chosen, adult oriented, special order karaoke collection ever. Plus enough variety of drinking supplies to guarentee we'll get you to wear all five of those items again.

Tug said...

Awesome, this was fun to read! But just to clarify...was I in your dildo drawer (did you catch me), or just my NAME?

ADW said...

Dyck - of course you did and of course it was

Britt - Not cool, unless it comes from a teeny, tiny blonde

Monkey - at the same time - that would be funny....

Tug - no, I name each one of them and the one with your name on it was the one I pulled out of the drawer

Legaleagle said...

I've tried to leave this comment three times!

Thank you! I will do my best to get my nominees up soon!