Wednesday, August 29, 2007


I have a new title - Home Wrecker. At first I was a little concerned and I wasn't going to share this story, but now I am extra special pissed off with a side of I can't fucking believe this shit.

A few months back, I posted about seeing an old boyfriend from high school. If you want to read it, click here. All I can say about Maq is that he was a very special person in my life and I cared about and still care about him no matter what.

So back in the Spring, when we hung out while he was in town, we had a few drinks, a bunch of laughs and reminisced about times that seem so long ago now. My husband was completely aware of who I was with and what we were doing. I had a great time hanging out with someone who I not only dated once upon a time, but also a person that I grew up with. He is one of the few people who knew how horrible my home life was and could commiserate with me about the holy hell I went through.

After Maq went back to the MD, we kept in touch by e-mailing or through myspace. Just random shit like: "Hey, howzit going" and "OMG you won't believe who I saw the other day"... stupid stuff like that. Then a couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from him marked URGENT. When I opened it up, the e-mail was in fact from his wife. Boy Howdy, let me tell you that the rambling diatribe she sent me was an almost unintelligible string of fragment sentences that was close to impossible to follow. At first my reaction was to be upset that this person that I had never met, but respected deeply for loving someone that I care about, found my behavior inappropriate. But then I thought about it, swore up a blue streak and got pissed the fuck off. I am not going to repost what she wrote to me, but I will say that she called my character into question (shut up! I am not that bad), called my morals as a mother and wife into question and told me that what "WE" had done to her had caused her to seriously rethink her marriage.

Oh... what was done to her??? Apparently Maq conveniently "forgot" to tell her that we hung out one of the nights he was in town. I don't for a second believe that he did it because he felt guilty, but that he was trying to avoid a confrontation like this one. I am not sure how he thought she wouldn't find out since I met him at his mother's house, played with his son, talked to his Aunt and then we drove out to his Best Man's house to watch the fight that evening. I absolutely had nothing to do with him not telling her that we went out and I could care less, to be perfectly honest with you. What I do not appreciate is being pulled into a very childish fight over something completely insignificant in the scheme of things and I told her that in as many words. Well, actually in a lot more words and probably not as nice as I could have been, but I really did try. I told her that while I cared for Maq, it was only in the way that old friends care and that half the time we spent talking was about her and how she turned his life around. I did take umbrage with her accusations against me and rebutted everything she had to say. Blah, blah dee blah.

Did any of it work? She responded to me by saying Thank You. The next day Maq's myspace account was deleted.

So now, I have lost my oldest friend. Literally. And I blame him for it. If he was up front with his spouse, like I was with mine, this would be a non-issue. We either would have met up with her blessing or not at all. Now, I don't feel as if I have the right to speak with him again because then I would be crossing a line that his wife obviously feels very strongly about.

Too bad. He was one of my best friends growing up and I will miss him.

I am very sad )=

*** Oh and FYI - to the stupid fuckhead who let's his children jump on top of other people's cars - I swear to you I saw that this very evening:

If that were my car, I would shoot both you and your hellspawn you ignorant Turdface. You give foreigners a bad rap in this country and I wish there was some way to screen assholes like you right out of the Naturalization process. I fucking hate you with a passion I only reserve for the ugly and infirm. Given the opportunity, I would let my mother in law's demon dog loose on your ass and then bathe in your blood. Get off your cell phone and get your eight children off of the roof of some innocent person's sedan before someone meaner than I am decides to take the lot of you out by using you for redneck 4x4 target practice. You are truly a dickheaded half wit and I am sure I will be seeing your mug shot soon.

Fuck off to all assholes, I have had enough of you. Unless you're funny, then we're cool. Or hot. Or rich. So I guess I need to amend that to say: fuck off to all poor, ugly, boring assholes.

I feel better now.



Anonymous said...

She made him choose, and he had to choose his wife. Don't hate him for that...feel sorry for him. I am very, very sad for you. My bestest friend in the world (the "he wouldn't bail me out of jail, he'd be in there with me" type, the "get on a plane tomorrow because I'm falling apart" type, the "my kid's guardian if I croak" type) is a guy I've known for 15 years and dated and fucked briefly. Both his spouse and mine knew up front. Part of the deal was accept our friendship or move on. Too bad your friend couldn't - for whatever reason - make the same thing clear. :-(

But WHAT AN INSECURE BITCH the wife is! You took the high road on that one!

Anonymous said...

Oh...uh...sorry that was so long. Women like that just piss me off.

ADW said...

Doll - the funny thing is that we never slept together. I was fourteen when we dated and we remained friends after that. I even went to his Senior Prom with him because he didn't have a girlfriend at the time and he knew that we would have fun together. It is just a shitfest, the way it ended up. I am not mad at him for choosing his wife. In fact, that would not be an option for me - I would make him choose her. I am mad at him for putting himself in a position where his wife felt that he had to "choose". He is the one who was not up front with her. Silly, stupid, trivial, high school bullshit and I am way too old for that.....

Variant E said...

I'm sorry. I don't think you fully finished with the "Fuck Yous" to feel good yet. Like vomiting, you need to really get them all out before you can begin to feel better. Go ahead, have one or two more "Fuck Yous" on me! There, no don't you feel even better?

Avitable said...

Well, I'm a funny, hot, rich, asshole, so I guess we're cool.

As someone who has primarily female friends, I am very happy that my wife and I have such a high level of trust. When she went to Paris with her girlfriends, and they all stayed at her ex-boyfriend's house, and then they took off their wedding rings to go dancing, none of the other wives felt like they could tell their husbands. And when I have female friends that I hang out with at night, I have no problem letting my wife know. We trust each other completely, and if I lost a female friend over an insanely jealous boyfriend/husband, I'd be fucking pissed.

Anonymous said...

It is very big of you to realize that it was he that put both of you in that position. I respect you for that.

By not being up front with her, he just made her feel even more insecure than she already obviously is...

besides... with a friend as beaaauutiful as you... what isn't to be insecure about. :-)

He should have just been honest. That really sucks for you though. I hope she comes to her senses.

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, the fucking. It only lasted a week. We were all "'s like doing my sibling!" But yep, silly stupid and trivial about covers it. Sad for him if he's never given her a reason to be insecure, and sad for her if he has. :-(

You know, it's too bad she didn't read your other post about him. She'd be your best friend now instead.

BottleBlonde said...

I fucking hate you with a passion I only reserve for the ugly and infirm.

HUHAHAHAHAHAAHaha! You slay me. Truly.

Okay, are you really surprised by the wife's jealousy? I mean, you're hot.

The End.

fatwonkkid said...

maybe she SHOULD rethink her marriage...she doesn't trust her husband, and it sounds like your friend can't let his wife know that he is hanging out with a girl.

How old did you say your friends wife is...13 or 16?

In regards to the jumpy kids, I think I might have pretended that was my car to fuck with them.

Mim said...

Oh wow. When will people grow up? It is completely unfair for women to be such jealous bitches and for men to be lying scumbags. But its seems that is the majority not the minority. It really is too bad that you've lost your friend solely because of trust. I've lost a couple in the same manner, though not quite to this extent.

I guess sometimes you're meant to grow apart from old friends. Sometimes forever and sometimes only temporarily.

Sleepynita said...

I had this somewhat same situation from my best friend in high school. His wife is a cheating whore yet he sticks by her and YET she doesn't like when he calls me when he is town. Come on, we are friends (I never had anything physical for this guy) and have been for 15 years at least. We are both MARRIED and have kids, when we get together we aet tacos and drink beer. So not threatening.

Your friend needs to get his wife under control, or grow some fucking balls because she has his in one hell of a vice grip.

Glamourpuss said...

Ouch. Yes, leave that one well alone. I can understand why he didn't tell her, but it's a bit cowardly. And I think her emailing you was rather over the top. Email can be a curse - it's so easy to vent at someone and say stuff you'd never have the balls to say face to face or even on the 'phone. Silly woman.

BTW, I am poor and boring - please don't shoot me.


Jenny! said...

How juvenille of her! They obviously have issues that are not about just you!

Let it rage girl! Just kick those kids standing on cars...litte fuckers!

themuttprincess said...

That is too bad that she is that insecure in their marriage that she has to drag you into it. When in all honesty all you did was spend time with an old friend. Regardless of the gender. I hope that eventually you can talk to him.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I have a lot of guy friends and all I can say is, don't mourn this one. He won't be married that long. He'll be back when he dumps the stupid cow.

You also don't know. He might have a fidelity problem or she might have a drinking problem. Either problem is theirs to deal with and with a divorce rate of 63% - he'll be single sooner than you think.

BTW, I can let my kids jump on the roof of my car if I want to. I brought them into this world... oh right, I don't have any kids.

Open Grove Claudia said...

OH, I blamed you for something on my blog too! You can come on over and swear at me there.

Dyck!! said...

Honey, I hate to tell you this, but you're a homewrecker! Let me explain something about guys. We don't talk to women unless it's work related, or we're trying to get poon. So this Maq guy was an old friend from school. Doesn't matter, he's just like the rest of us.

Tug said...

That sucks. Unfortunately, I don't give the marraige long if she's like that - he'll be calling you. If SHE calls you, give her the asshat neighbor's address.

Scary Monster said...

Me be thinking tha Maq needs to grow a pair of balls.
He be obviously lacking them iffin he cain't talk to he wife or even try to get you into bed.
Never fall for the LJBF line. It's a bunch of bull dinky.

Guys need snatch and goils appreciate the attention iffin it be given with style.


Paula D. said...

Damn!!!! That is messed up. He should have been up font with her. Sounds like she has some serious insecurity issues & he was dead wrong to hide the meet up.

Dan said...

So I guess I need to amend that to say: fuck off to all poor, ugly, boring assholes.

You're much more accepting and kind-hearted than I. I say fuck 'em all. :)

Hugs ADW!

Paulette Foley said...

Sounds to me like one day in the not too distant future Maq may make contact tell you about the horrible divorce he's just gone through. Too bad people have to be that insecure.

George said...

I absolutely love listening to you rant

Legaleagle said...

This is why all of my poker buddies stopped asking me to poker when the got married. Granted, I had (at one time or another) been involved with (okay, really just screwed around with) every guy at that table, but it was nothing serious, and I respect the whole marriage thing. Of course, there was the night that I looked around the table and realized that, at one point or another, each one of those guys had seen me naked....

The [Cherry] Ride said...

That sucks what happened to you! But life goes on. I am sure you will miss the friendship, but you don't need that kind of hassle. Life is too short!

ADW said...

Vehow - fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.... whew, you were right. A ton better.

Avi - I would believe that there is a good chance we are related if I didn't know you were part gorilla.

Kelly - thanks. I don't totally blame her for being pissed, but I think she tool it too far.

Doll - I know. I wish he would have shown her that post. It was poignant and touching. I can only write like that once a year or my heart starts unshriveling and nobody wants a nice ADW. It doesn't make for good entertainment.

BottleBlonde - Right back atcha babe.

Fatwonkid - I was already in my own car driving away when I saw this. I told my husband about it and he said he would have removed the cell phone from the asshat's hand and then beat the shit out of him if it was his car. Stupid ass.

Mim - I hope it is only temporary.

SleepyNita - I have lost qiuite a few friends to marraige. What a disease.

Puss - You freaking pole dance!!!! So not boring. I love you. Do you still need some flowers?

Jenny! - You think I won't kick a kid? Nah. You know me better than that.

Mutt - So do I. We have each other's phone numbers, but I WILL NOT call him 1st. If he calls me, then we can talk, but I understand his wife has issues with our relationship and his family should come before any other relationship.

Claudia - IF you had kids, I so totally don't see you letting them jump on the roof of anything.

Dyck!! - Poon, poon, poon.

Tug - I have missed you greatly. I hope you are doing OK. I think about you and your family.

Monster - hmmm...... You are so cute and I loved your flashy post.

Paula D. - I agree and thanks for stopping by.

Dan- Kisses

Paulette - the world would be a better place if people just got over themselves.

George - It's one of my less marketable skills though.

LegalEagle - Awkward. But at least you have great shoes. I've missed you too....

Cherry - you are too right my stalker brother.

Not a Granny said...

I really think there is a lot more going on than just him not telling her about being out with you. I suspect there has been some past behavior on his part that may have contributed to her lack of trust.

Don't know..just saying..

Miss Kitty said...

You said it: your friend is an idiot. But I still feel sorry for him having married this crazy woman. She might have "turned his life around," but she did it by putting a big ring in his nose & leading him around with it.

Dana said...

holy shit.your so funny. ok I think personally the wife is a very jealous person and maybe for some reason she cant trust him. or has some insecurity problem..who know. I do feel bad that you lost a friend . maybe he wil come back into your life.

honkeie2 said...

I know where your friend is coming from. But he did not hide his lies good enough. I have a really good friend from my past that is female. Hell she was in my wedding as the best person. I have no desire in being with her but to the wife unit she is the other woman. I have bumped into her a few times and never told the wife. I know she would have a shit if she knew I even saw her for a split second with out her supervision. Maybe next time he will hide his secerts better. He can always make up a new myspcae account, fuck....I have two. My normal one and my 'lesbian' one.

Slick said...

Uh oh....I'm going to be the one to throw the turd into all this?

What would've been your thoughts if he had been upfront with her and she expressed her opinion about him not wanting to meet up with you. Would you be mad at him or her?

mojotek said...

Wait... You hate and loathe the infirm?

Sorry, I thought of all kinds of insightful and witty things to say. But then I read that, and it's all I could think about.

abstractjenn said...

I agree totally with Jenny! They have issues and they aren't about you. Maybe he has actually cheated before or something along those lines. By meeting him at his mom's etc etc you kept everything on the up and up - it's too bad he couldn't do the same.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Yeah, that dude's wife doesn't sound too cool. However, I'm with you when you say that he should have been up front with her.

Still, you're a homewrecker. But not to worry, that's a step up from Jezebel.

Marianne said...

Aw hell...what an introduction to your blog. That was funnier than shit! Bravo.

ADW said...

Not a Granny - you could very well be correct.

Kitty - that's right.

Dana - i hope so

Honkeie2 - Sneaky. I admire that.

Slick - I would have abided by her wishes and not seen him. I would not have gone out with him behind her back.

Mojotek - Of course, doesn't everyone.

Abstractjenn - Thanks for stopping by.

Dr. K - thanks for the clarification.

Marianne - at least you weren't introduced by my latest post. I hope you return.

Anonymous said...

Well, don't blame him. He can't help it that she is a psycho. I'm sure things were perfectly innocent on his part, but she sounds like the kind of lunatic who would freak out if he said anything to her.

Also, why would I even say anything? I doubt I would even think to unless we talked about something relevant to my wife/whatever.