Monday, September 10, 2007

Housekeeping

It's 10:04 AM and Michigan still sucks. That's right party people, the Wolverines have been declawed and any chance at salvaging their season ended on Saturday. Yippee!!! I am telling those of you who are non-Buckeyes, that the Michigan/Ohio State rivalry is the greatest in college football and I challenge you to attend the last game of the season and prove me wrong.



Now to news that may be a little more interesting to y'all:


  • My workload is crazy insane right now, so my posting may get a little more sporadic.

  • I apologize ahead of time for lack of comments on this and other blogs. I am still reading, but not commenting as much.

  • I have to be out of town for a large portion of this week. I am going to a conference. Pray that I make it out alive.

  • I clogged up the toilet at work this morning. That is why I like to shit in my own bathroom.

  • Friday night my little angels turned into evil hellions. I pondered choking them both. Instead, I made them go to bed early. Ahhhhhh, peace and quiet.

  • My washing machine blew up last weekend and we had to replace it. Guess where I didn't go? That's right, those cocksuckers over at Sears can lick my asshole. I hate Sears. Deeply and passionately.

  • Because the washer exploded, we found 13 socks and our laundry is now close to reaching the ceiling of the guest room. 42 loads. Fucking hellfire.

  • I can't think of anything else, but I felt that this post needed one more bullet point to round it out. I'll miss you while I'm gone. Anybody want to come over and do my laundry?

Remember, read the post below and if you want me to link to you, just let me know. I am pretty sure that I could use the Karma, but it may be a few years too late for my soul.


Just sayin'.

32 comments:

Mim said...

I'll send husband right over to do your laundry. He does mine (except for "socks and poopoo undies" I love that movie)and he's an angel.

I'm not going to lie I miss you commenting back on my comments but I always wonder where you find the time to. :)

Duncan said...

The only place worse than Sears is Monkey Wards, I mean, Montgomery Wards. Get my aunt to quit making shoes and take the load of laundry by the creek to wash 'em by hand.

Glamourpuss said...

There's something inordinately satisfying about bullet points.

And taking big dumps.

Puss

Miss Britt said...

Seriously, seriously, you HAVE to get a front loading wash machine. That 42 loads will be done in NO TIME with one of those babies.

Paticus said...

I'm a bit confused(or just stupid-or both)-Did you find 13 socks when the washer exploded ? or did you find 13 socks as a result of having to wear more and more of your clothes because you could not clean them ?

Avitable said...

I'll do your laundry, but only if I can keep some of your underwear.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Good luck at the conference - I hate those fucking things. First you have to sit still for more than an hour. How does anyone do that?? Then you have to listen to people who don't know their ass from a hole in a wall...

Oh sorry, you aren't going to a psychology conference.

DangerDoll said...

I don't mind doing the laundry, I just hate folding it. So I let it sit in the basket and just dress myself right out of there. Saves time.

I should fucking totally start a Hints From Heloise type thing, y'know?

zen wizard said...

Very few state schools can say that their rivalry started with an ACTUAL WAR between the two states.

Michigan and Ohio State can!

Kelly said...

laundry sucks.

no.

:-)

fatwonkkid said...

so do you try and unclog it, or do you sneak away hoping nobody saw you drop a horse sized shit out of your ass clogging up the toilet?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Why would you want to clog your own toilet? It makes no sense!

As for the washing machine, perhaps it would have lasted longer if you didn't fornicate on top of it so much.

Mr. Fabulous said...

I love how you keep piling it on Michigan! LOL

George said...

I do laundry because if I don't I'll have to wear dirty clothes. I also iron ... maybe I should say that lounder, I though it would attract lots of available vaginas

Paulette Foley said...

Won't comment on the laundry...but some of those socks may belong to my son...aliens are always taking them.

GO BUCKEYES! They are coming here (to Washington) next week, I think...would love to go in my red shirt just to lord it over the Huskies...don't let my purple flag flying neighbors read this.

Jenny! said...

I can't use public bathrooms...and no way could i shit in one!

Tug said...

Sears sucks the big one.

HI GEORGE!! (Seriously, you IRON?

Tug said...

)


hee.

forgot that.

Yoda said...

Yeah!!!! Muck Fishigan!! LOL!

Dan said...

LOL!! Now why in the world would you let those cocksuckers over at Sears lick your asshole? I don't want them near mine!!

Slick said...

Georgia and Florida is the greatest rivalry. Plain and simple :p

You know, Sears has too many tools and shit to be near someone's ass.

You ain't scared of nothing, are you?

VE said...

You crack me up about Sears! I feel the hate...let if flow over you...wait...that's the damn Star Wars dialog. Hey, you were my "funnies blog from last week"; congrats!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Sears? I love Sears. I suppose I can find it in my heart to hate them, though.

Crunchy BC said...

The Suckeyes will still find a way to blow it. Trust me, this is 43 years of Northern Ohio sporting disappointment talking.

Amy said...

So glad to hear I'm not the only one who hates Sears. Seriously... I LOATHE the place. HATE HATE. Icky, icky. It's like... WalMart AT the MALL. Ewwwwww.

James Burnett said...

long time no read. you are hilarious. and good luck finding that 14th sock.

i have issues w/sears too. in fact, i specifically told the repairman who informed us with a goulish smile that our broken fridge was one day past the warranty that sears should go and fornicate itself over and over and over.

heather said...

Did you hear what they're calling the Michigan game this Saturday? "Pillow Fight at the Big House."

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You floated a brown trout at work that clogged up the bowl? Wow. Time to quit before you're known as The Power Dumper.

mac the tongue said...

you want the cocksuckers at sears to lick your asshole? i'm going to close my $$$ business and apply at sears tomorrow...

BottleBlonde said...

Okay, I've visited this post several times and I still got nothin'. I'm losin' my mojo. Either that, or the methadone is doin' it's job.

Let me know if your washer turned up any of my socks, too.

Miss Kitty said...

Hope all's going well for you, ADW, despite the crazy workload.

Anonymous said...

your potty mouth is so cute...