Friday, September 28, 2007

Word Search

Every once in a while, I check out some stats on my site to see who's showing up every day and who I will need to stalk more often. I also get to see what searches bring people to my blog and while I am not completely shocked, some of these are just too funny:

The Hooters searches that I found amusing were:
  • Hooters Girl Sex Sock - OK. What in the Sam Hell is a sex sock? It sounds like some kinky toy, or a prophylactic.

  • 8 extra hooters - what, is she like octo-breasted? That's a lot of titties for one man to take care of.
  • Hooters Mudwrestling - sounds like a way to kick it up a notch. I'd pay to see that shit.

Searches that should end up at other blogs:

  • These should have all ended up at Dyck's site, but I guess they came here because I talk about him too much.

  • Dyckerson Flea Powder - I can completely understand why a person would feel the need to rid themselves of a rash caused by this guy. Hopefully, you all have learned your lesson and you keep him away from your genitalia.

  • Dyckerson Vibrating Beds - Dude, if this makes you any money at all, I better get my cut for giving you the idea. However, I am sure that each bed will come with it's own human juice stains, so I would hesitate to make that purchase.

Other random funny shit:

  • Blood in the Ears - I get a ton of traffic from this search. It makes me question the human race.

  • Older Whores - I say to the asshole searching for this and getting me - fuck you sideways. And why are the search engines leading these pervos here? I am not that old. For another 3 1/2 months at least.

  • African Cocksuckers - What makes the Africans better than say New Zealanders? Is it the really long necks with the copper rings around them? Or maybe the thing about Africans and dick size is true and their women (and men) evolved into giant dicksucking machines.

  • Bathing in Pudding - An interesting concept. Sounds kinda sticky though.
  • Extreme Cum Guzzling - Now THIS should be an Olympic Sport over Ping Pong and Curling.

  • I Peed My Pants During Spanking - It happens to the best of us. That's why I always tinkle before a good smackbottom.

  • I am a Butt Worshiper and a Panty Sniffer - OK. Good for you. Just stay away from me.

  • The Dickheaded Wife of Chicken George - This one made me crack up. It sounds like an Aesop's Fable gone awry.

  • Zulu Cunts - I am not sure if they were looking for pictures, or referencing a new swear word, but I like it. Hey you, stupid zulu cunt. Yeah, I can use this one.

  • Sex Mob - Sounds like fun. A lot of fun. Bring on the sex mob.

So there are my search words. I'm kinda phoning it in today, but I could give two shits.



Avitable said...

I usually find you by searching "young supple whores".

Mim said...

"That's why I always tinkle before a good smackbottom."<---That's just good advice :)

Glamourpuss said...

Sounds like you get the same sort of perverts I do. Sigh.


ADW said...

Avi - What break? Lazy arse.

Mim - I try to give my readers some common sense lessons.

Puss - Probably.

Not a Granny said...

Let's words to find me

"granny patty" (4 different times)

"how to have sex with your granney" (blagh! note spelling)

"grannies next door"

"watching granny sex" (ugh)

BottleBlonde said...

I am a Butt Worshipper and a Panty Sniffer

I wouldn't be surprised if that statement got you the majority of your hits. After all, it applies to 100% of the male population.

Avitable said...

I'm taking a break from blogging. Not from commenting. Duh!

metalmom said...

'Stupid Zulu Cunt' is highly usable. However, not by me. I think I would stop mid-catfight to laugh my ass off yet again!

VE said...

I think the Sex Mob are all booked up until 2018. Sorry.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Unfortunately, I had to recall 5,000 Dyckerson Vibrating Beds after an infant was left unattended and got electrocuted. Damn dumbass babies.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Let's hope that Google doesn't turn your searches over to the FBI or Homeland Security. I'm certain they'll decide you are a terrorist.

Effortlessly Average said...

Hey, when I searched for "8 extra hooters" it was after I'd taken that Viagra and had worn out the first four. I figured a dozen would be about right. Who'd have thought it would lead me here!

randy of the redwoods said...

damn yer cute and i love your dirty mouth and i also hate michigan. would you like to have an affair?

George said...

The best search term I have in my log right now is ... semen celery ... maybe somebody is on a diet and doesn't want to many extra calories when they swallow. Can you imagine what cherry cheeskcake semen would do to their waist lines?

Anonymous said...

'zulu cunts' hahahahah. Gosh, people are INSANE!

heather said...

Somebody found my old blog by searching for "masturbating mother in law". Just ew!

Tug said...

There was a picture going around of one of the African's member...holy shit - suck that & it would end up in your lower intestine.

And Heather - my son-in-law calls that 'changing the oil'.


Scary Monster said...

Me has only once checked out the searches people use to find me. It left me feeling puzzled and disgusted all at the same time. The only good thing were that me weren't located on the top page of the search.

Who the hell searches for "Monster Boogers" anyway?

Stay Stompy, Pretty Tits!

Miss Kitty said...

I always learn something new when I check in on your blog, ADW. :-P

Sleepynita said...

how do you do that? find out the search strings I mean.....

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I want a Hooters Sex Sock!!!

Ian said...

You are lovely.

We have an informational meeting next month.

Kim Ayres said...

More people end up on my site when searching for "Bramble Crumble" than any other term.

It takes all sorts...