Monday, October 1, 2007


Hey blog world!!!

I know that some of you may have noticed that my posting and commenting has been very sporadic lately and unfortunately it won't get better any time soon. On the plus side, work is going gangbusters, but that is the source of the problem. Last week, I think I put something close to 70 hours in when all was said and done and I feel like yesterday's garbage.

For those of you who don't know what I do, I manage a sales territory in NE Ohio for technology. Specifically, I am involved in voice, data, wireless, video, security and surveillance in the public sector market. This is probably boring to most of you, but I LOVE my job!!!! I moved into my new position and new company in November of last year from a much smaller company and I couldn't be happier about the transition. However, as with any sales position, I am under the gun for a specific goal and I only have another 3 months to meet that goal.

So..... I hope that you all can be a little understanding with my lack of posting and comments and stick it out. I will understand if my readership falls off, but a gal's gotta prioritize. Ya know what I mean? I will do my best to keep up with your blogs and will comment when I can. Hopefully I will have time to fill you in on the nutso world of my life here and there.

I will leave you with this:

Stepford Cunt, one of the neighbors on my street, invited us to her Halloween Party. I would rather gouge out my eyes with a salad fork. I was outside talking to some of my other neighbors on Tuesday evening (after a hellacious day) with a glass of wine in my hand. A bee landed on the hand holding the wine and I am allergic to bees. Sooooooo... I of course freak the fuck out and flail about like a wounded wombat splashing wine to and fro. At that perfect moment in time Stepford Cunt goes strolling by with one of her kids. As I am attempting to drown the bee in a great little Red Wine, she comments:

"What is that, 8 or 9?"

Stupid bitch. I really loath that she-devil.

I think I may go to her party, just to instigate and then post on the outcome. Plus I wouldn't be above splashing a little red on her white carpets. I mean who in their right mind puts in white carpet when they have two kids? Blech.

Later Turdlets.


Mim said...

What a bitch! Ugh, I hate people who do the assume joke. They assume they're either going to be funny or correct. And they're typically neither. Snooty bitch.

And you know I love you. You won't lose my readership.

Open Grove Claudia said...

WEEHHOO. I'm not sure how I would respond to that. Oh right, the way I usually do - flesh searing stare.

I'm psyched that you are doing well at work - any ideas of what to do with the extra funds?

Trip to Colorado for ski season? New car? SHOES????

Miss Britt said...

Are you saying you prioritize work AHEAD of blogging??

randy of the redwoods said...

yes, lovely woman, do it. it's the legal way to vandalize. you know, spilling stuff and breaking stuff in her stepford home is understandable, even expected, from the ADW. Tell her you thought her china was the unbreakable kind, and you can't believe the toilet clogged up so easily.

Tug said...

After she said 8 or 9, I'd have had to say "bottle?" while 'tripping' & dumping the remains of the glass all over her.

but that's just me.

ADW said...

Mim - thanks my love.

Claudia - Trip to Colorado to sit by the fire and drink cocoa... maybe. Shoes - YES!!!

Britt - Uh, kinda. I won't tell Avi if you don't though.

Randy - good idea. I like the bowl clogging and I believe that with enough "pressure" I can get the job done.

Tug - and waste perfectly good wine. No. I will lay in wait until she least expects it and then spring my trap.

Anonymous said...

you should have said, "your husband told me that is what he uses to get through the day at your house... so I thought I'd give it a try."

with a loving and clueless smile. :-)

Kitty said...

start planning your party outfit petal. you know you gotta. x

Peggy said...

Here's an idea for a costume. Go as Stepford Cunt

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I think I can bring you some business! I need you to install a surveillance camera in the women's locker room at my gym. You will need to be very discreet about this, as it hasn't exactly been "approved" yet. If anybody asks what you're doing, just say you're putting in a sprinkler system.

Marianne said...

No prob. Work pays...the blog world doesn't. Go where the money is. The job feeds our kids, the blog feeds our egos.

George said...

Doesn't it just piss you right off when work gets in the way of socializing?

You could have mooned her ... then the invite to the party would get withdrawn

Paulette Foley said...

White carpet and kids...I hate her already. I can't even wear a white shirt and my kid is 14!

Scary Monster said...

Shucks, just go to the party dressed as a great big vagina and spill a bottle of red wine on her rug. Then you could always have the excuse that you didn't have the time to make a tampon.


blewknight said...

I'll still check every day to see what you write WHEN you write it! Well worth the wait!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

You have to admit, ADW, that was a pretty good burn by Stepford C-Bomb. I like her.

Avitable said...

You still haven't answered Britt's questions. You don't get fuck-all for a reprieve until you do that.

Although I bet your boss would love you to stop blogging and concentrate on working for the entire time. I know of one employee who blogs alllll day long and then teases me with her boobs.

ADW said...

Kelly - I have the clueless smile down pat.

Kitty - I don't have enough hair in my drain traps to go as a giant cunt.

Peggy - Ditto above...

Dyck - so yous can sees some poons?

Marianne - so true.

George - stupid work. I need o become independently wealthy.

Paulette - I can't show her my heiny, she might fall in love with me.

Scary - Loves it!!!

BlewKnight - thanks for the comment - I welcome your lurking (=

Bug - you can't like her. NOONE likes her. She's really mean. Meaner than I am.

Avi - What you talkin' bout penis?

metalmom said...

I'll still pop in to see you. No pressure!

I also live in Stepford. Smoke? God help you! Drink or pills? That's okay EVERYONE does.What's a Babysitter? Here there be 'au pairs'! It sucks.

Glamourpuss said...

I've never been called a 'turdlet' before. I think I quite like it...

Go sort your priorities.


5 of 9er said...

Go! Go! Take photos! :)

Not a Granny said...

8 or 9??? I would have to say "oh no, sorry this is from the 3rd bottle you left at my house"

Definitely go, spill a little here, a little, there...don't forget to grind the chocolate into the carpet also!!

Effortlessly Average said...

If I were you, I'd have replied: "no, that's my husband; yours is only 3 or 4, remember? Or did you mean your IQ?"

Effortlessly Average said...

Or you could have said: "How would I know how many men you've banged at one time?"

Spiky Zora Jones said...

adw...oh babes, you know you have to go. Please take me with you. I would love to meet her. I've never met anyone with a well balanced turd on their upper lip.

Oh...she only looks like she's a turd sniffer.

Well then I just want to sit on the recliner with a bag of pop corn and a glass of red wine and watch the show. You will entertain us, yes?

Oh hey I know how you feel about loving the job...and it's so not boring. Well, not to me.

Congrats on the new job...Ciao.

zen wizard said...

Did she mean eight or nine glasses of wine?

In that case, what a party!

She's going to be counting everyone's drinks? And slices of pizza?

Wow, sounds like fun is all I can say!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA, I had to laugh. What a smug smart arse she must be.

You should go to her party to steal all the attention away from her. Stand around when the men cook on the BBQ or something and entertain them. She'll turn green in no time.

(living through you- all my suburban dreams rolled into one!)

ADW said...

Metalmom - you forgot about the overstressed dudes that beat their wives

Puss - thanks for the understanding

Niner - trust me, if I go, I will take plenty of pics

Granny - good idea. i am sure that there will be some sort of pumpkin carving party plan or some such BS

EA - I like the second one. Sigh. The truth hurts.

Spiky - I likey!!!!

Zen - she was trying to be funny. If it was anyone else, I would have laughed, but I loath that bitch.

Betty - Blech. Neighborhood, suburban dudes. I couldn't feign interest if paid.

Wel maybe if paid....

Diesel said...

That's cool that you like your job so much. We'll forgive your sporadic appearances.

Slick said...

Geeezus, if the job makes a person that happy, pull some strings and get me on!

Wait a minute...8 or 9? So, was she right?? ;)

Effortlessly Average said...

Oh, and that's Mr. Turdlet to you.

BottleBlonde said...

Prioritizing is important. Take me, for example. I always make sure to groom my hemorrhoids before attending to my blog.