Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Boo Bags

I got Boo-Bagged the other day and before you fuckers look it up on Urban Dictionary, it is nothing like being Tea-Bagged.



We were eating dinner or poking our houseboy with a stick or trying to figure out if the chicken or the egg came first when there came a knock upon our door. This sent the dogs into a barking frenzy, jumping about and knocking shit over. SuperDiva went to the door and found a cute little bag that said Boo! on it. She said she saw our neighbor D running away as she opened the door, so we surmised, through obviously brilliant reasoning, that D left the bag. In it was a bottle of wine, uh yum, some candy, scarecrow poop, some spooky socks and a kitty cat pen. Later I found out that I was to share these items with the kids. Boo! indeed.



So being the skanky bitch that I am, I decided to pay it forward and I put my own Boo! bags together for three ladies that I like. I included my favorite Menage-A-Trois in along with stamps and Halloween cups for their kids. Oh, and candy of course. Apparently one of the other neighbors is a real nosey twat and saw me leaving the bags and decided to spill the beans because Sunday we went to a Pumpkin Carving Party at an old neighbor's house and one of the ladies I Boo'ed was there. As soon as I walked in, she said "I love that wine. Love, love, love." I asked her how she found out it was me and she told me that manspout drinker from next door told her. Great! Way to ruin my surprise you dildohumping, mantywearing shitsniffer!



Anyway, I do believe in that old adage of what goes around comes around. Or is it a reach around. Never mind, I paid it forward. And it made me feel good about myself, so bonus.



Anyway, Happy Halloween. Now all you pimps and skanks go on and "rock out with your cock out."

P.S. My neighbor came up with a great item for a bag for the Stepford C - "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Thank you Dale Carnegie!!!

Ah ahahahahahahahah!!!1

29 comments:

BottleBlonde said...

I totally pictured you bein' boob-bagged by ManHo Cho as I read this.

AnkleBone said...

What, exactly, is a manspout drinker?

fatwonkkid said...

if i didn't know who left a bag of goodies on my doorstep, i would have tossed it in the garbage.

I generally don't trust strangers, and who knows what nut job is leaving cyanide tainted crap at my door.

ADW said...

Blonde - Can you imagine what would be in my Boob-bag?

Anklebone - Cumguzzler

Fatwonkkid - Cyanide? Damn, I ahould have consulted you BEFORE I did the bags.

Samantha_K said...

That menage a trois sounds fabulous...the wine, I mean...Yeah, the wine.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I love tea bagging.

Diesel said...

You know, I can't tell if I'm keeping up with the hip lingo when I come over here or just filling my head with nonsense that is eventually going to lead to Turett's syndrome.

ADW said...

Samantha K - Either or.

Cherry - Like Duh!!!

Diesel - The latter.

Miriam said...

I wish I lived in your neighborhood. I could go with a Boo Bag of my own :)

Victoria said...

I mailed that book to a bitch. It didn't work, she was to far gone.

And you're Boo bags are better than the
ones my neighbors leave!

Open Grove Claudia said...

Happy Halloween! What a great idea to payforward. Of course, you aren't getting anywhere near my stash of Menage a Trois. You're much kinder than I am.

Jay said...

"manspout drinker"

I LOL'd ...

I'm going to make it my mission today to find a way to use that in front of somebody. I think the old ladies at the library would really get a kick out of it.

Tug said...

Will you be MY neighbor?

(are you singing the Mr. Rogers song in your head now?)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Hey, I read that book!

Avitable said...

As long as I get to be the first person to teabag you, I'm okay with this.

themuttprincess said...

Way to play it forward. I, myself, am tooooo damn lazy!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Can I have the pussy pen?

abstractjenn said...

Once again I leave your blog with astounding new vocabulary that I can try out tomorrow on the guys in my plant. They have become fascinated with my language skills these days. Or maybe it's my cleavage - I can never be sure.

The Chief said...

I've always preferred leaving the flaming bags of poo but, hey, whatever!

Man, that Dale Carnegie was something wasn't he?!?!?! It's amazing how a no1-71 year old book by a guy who's been dead for the last 50+ years is still read and talked about. So much for Shaved Potter!!!

Mr. Fabulous said...

dildohumping, mantywearing shitsniffer

You do know how to turn a phrase!

wafelenbak said...

I just kept waiting for doggie poo to appear in one of the bags.
*sigh*

RWA said...

I don't know that I've ever heard anyone compare "what goes around, comes around" with a "reacharound."

MARFSBABY said...

I love the Boo-bag idea, thanks.

And I guess the dildohumping, mantywearing shitsniffer would know it was you if you sent her a belated boo-bag-o-flaming shit wouldn't she? Too bad huh?

Kelly said...

That is such a great idea! What if your neighbor turned out to be an alcoholic though? uh, oh.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I did NOT need to know that my good friend Cherry enjoys a good round of tea bagging. One wonders if he is the bagger or the bagee . . .

ADW said...

All - Busy, busy, busy. I will stop by and visit you though.

Oh and Dr.K....
I don't want to know either...

Franki said...

i can't wait to call someone manspout drinker.

5 of 9er said...

Yeah... share the wine with the kids. A fantastic idea?

VE said...

Damn I love when I get my fix of foul mouthed verbage from you! You definitely have to play my "Bad Words Boggle" from my Thursday post...