I'm Screwed

So I am already in deep shit with the mother-in-law for the Shih Tzu Strangling.

Now I am in even hotter hot water. Is that even possible?

First we need to have a little discussion on my mom. MY mom is the best mom in the entire world. The fact that she did not give birth to me doesn't even come into account. In fact, I think that it makes her even greater (if possible) because she loves Tree and I as much as she does Bee and Vee - the two daughters she heaved out of her womb. My mom is funny and pretty and sweet. She is such a Suthun' Laydee that she speaks with the cutest little accent and wears funny hats. Plus she can't remember anything and she can laugh at herself about it.

BUT--------BUT-------- she really doesn't like animals. I think that after putting up with our beloved Mocha, she has had it. They finally had to put Mocha down a few months back and if anything, her tolerance for crap and piss and vomit has dipped to an all time low. When she found out that we were dog sitting for my husband's parents for a MONTH she about shit a brick. I believe she said "ADW, have you lost your ever loving mind? Why in the world would you WANT to take those animals?" I told her that it was either take 'em now or put up with the whining about how much it cost them to board the fuckers while they were on vacation and I - being the evil genius that I am - took the path of least resistance.

Yeah, real smart. Since last we visited the follies of the Golden Retriever and the Shih Tzu, the big dumb ass one shit on the floor outside of my bedroom. What the mother fucking hell? OUR dogs aren't even allowed to go to the upstairs part of our house. Period. There is no way that those two visiting spawns of Satan would in anyway be allowed to trot their hairy shit-stained, worm infested nasty asses into my sacred domain. But trot away she did and Mags took an elephant sized dump right in front of my bedroom door. I think if she had more than two brain cells, she would have figured out how to nose the door open and leave a steaming pile of turds in the middle of my bed. That would have earned her a forever shot.

The forever shot is my mom's idea of a good time. She actually taught my little man to say the following to my mother-in-law"

"Grandma Jay says that Bailee and Mags need a forever shot."

My three year old!! Great now I think she is trying to start a war with the in-laws. The problem with that is my folks are in Georgia while the hubby's rents are here in Ohio. Do you KNOW how much trouble this is going to cause me? Mr. ADW's parents barely tolerate me as it is. Once they find out that my mom is scheming to get their dogs put down it will turn into an all out loathing and then I'll have to flip the bitch switch - the fall out may even affect Miss Britt and Avi all the way down in the Floridian Nation.

Oh well. Watcha gonna do? So now I have to devise some witty, humorous back story to make up in the event that Little Man remembers what Grandma Jay taught him to say to his other grandma when she returns at the end of the month..... Any ideas?